What a strange statement to release.
"Guys, guys, we don’t spy on you!!! We just run up on people, masked and armed, pull people out of their cars, kidnap them, and murder protesters in the street!!!
…but we DON’T spy on people!!! That would be too far!"
Anyways…show of hands, does anybody even believe them? Anyone? No?
Ok, so we’re all agreed they absolutely DO spy on people.
I remember when I saw this clip. When he said the joke was written by a woman, I immediately wondered if Tina Fey worked for SNL at that point yet.
Then he completed the joke.
…you can see my username on your client, right?
steals an apple from your house
Muehehehehehe!!! Apple time!
munch munch munch
FINE!!! I’ll do it myself!
ties up several innocent people to the train track, but on the other train track is 1 puppy
Straight ahead? Or switch tracks?
jumps off train
off in the distance it’s your problem nowwwwwww
Huh…everybody is dead except me.
…it’s kinda nice.
Don’t worry, America! You’ve broken ties with WHO already. Their expert research wild theories can’t hurt you anymore!
Nah. I’ve lived in shitty apartment buildings with mice.
How about no?
I’m unclear what we’re doing now…and didn’t kbow we did this before.
Well, if you’re renting, you have no idea what the previous renters treated it like. Just remember, you’re sharing a planet with idiots. They might have just been punching the seatbelt holder for no reason. And then you, not having that information, are like “why’s the seatbelt holder broken?”
sits in your lap
Peanut please. Peanut me now.
Is this like the paraplegic version of ice skating? Or is he just being an asshole?
What? It’s Germany in the early 1900s. I’m not out of line for thinking that country in that time period had some assholes in it. Especially ones dressed in military uniform!
I officially rescind my call to unban.
OP got banned for THIS??? I don’t get it.
Mods, unban this man!
Don’t worry. He doesn’t fuck kids. He just fucks a lot of men and women. Adult men and women. Consentually.
I know a homeless guy who dresses up like a clown and works childrens birthday parties.
He also fuuuuuuuuucks.
I want that grumpy bunny! Gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie!!! I want to snuggle that bunny! Look at the grumpyness that needs to be snuggled out!!!
Hey human. Remember the time that embarassing thing happened? Ah, fun times. But hey…good to catch up. Have a good day at work. By the way, you forgotyour wallet at home, which has your work clock-in card. Oh well. Back home, and lose 2 hours of pay, dickhead!
What a long winding confusing road to walk, only to arrive right back where we started, making the whole thing pointless. Guess Russia should have listened 4 years ago.
“Russia go home”
Guess she’s not like a virgin anymore!
As soon as she leaves: