When someone else tells you what they are going through, its a summary. “They said this, they did that, then they said this” etc. so it’s easy to spot all the telltales and red flags, it’s obvious it’s abuse.
When it happens to you it’s happening alongside everything in your life. Work, family obligations, cooking, life admin. No one is summarising your life for you to tell a concise story. Its “just life”, there’s no narrative.
Plus many of us don’t show ourselves the kindness, patience, forgiveness or support we show others. “Its happening to me, not someone I care about, it isn’t as important”
Its a fucked combination even before the actual abuse that primes us to downplay it.
Thanks. I had so many people say how stupid they were for not being able to see how bad it was and that I could just cut straight to it.
I needed a way to explain why they weren’t dumb, but in a way that they could believe with their low self esteem. It’s because they did the hard work and packaged it up for me to understand.
When someone else tells you what they are going through, its a summary. “They said this, they did that, then they said this” etc. so it’s easy to spot all the telltales and red flags, it’s obvious it’s abuse.
When it happens to you it’s happening alongside everything in your life. Work, family obligations, cooking, life admin. No one is summarising your life for you to tell a concise story. Its “just life”, there’s no narrative.
Plus many of us don’t show ourselves the kindness, patience, forgiveness or support we show others. “Its happening to me, not someone I care about, it isn’t as important”
Its a fucked combination even before the actual abuse that primes us to downplay it.
That’s a really good explanation
Thanks. I had so many people say how stupid they were for not being able to see how bad it was and that I could just cut straight to it.
I needed a way to explain why they weren’t dumb, but in a way that they could believe with their low self esteem. It’s because they did the hard work and packaged it up for me to understand.