What is a thing that haunts you that is more of a second or other hand memory/mental impression rather than a direct experience or set of conditions you had to work within? Note: different from ghost which is something that was presen and now is absent)
It didnt originate with or become a part of you, it just left an original-less copy of a compass that seeks to influence you in impossible directions/choices derived from an experience/set of conditions by which you were seemingly affected but never actually objectively experienced?
I guess a concrete example like a 911 near-miss anecdote is good or maybe Im way off but feel free to write. Im feeling pensive
i never experienced such abuse firsthand, but my mom learned to live in a mess to make herself unattractive to her abuser. that habit got transferred to me so that i have to actively manage an urge to live in a messy home.
Struggle with the messiness too altho it helps as I get rid of stuff and find it easier to pick any ol time to stop digging :(