Hopefully we don’t get an influx of men crying about the chance of being accused of rape in a community of women where statistically 30% of us have been sexually assaulted and/or raped.
You’re right, it’s definitely higher which is why I threw in “statistically”. It is very difficult to report and record sexual assault and rape cases for many reasons.
Sometimes this kind of conversation will attract men who want to be technically correct and I was trying to avoid arguing with anyone about what the “real” numbers are. So I pulled what we know for sure for my comment.
The fact that it’s even higher makes this kind of whinging to women about being seen as unsafe around women very cringe.
The only thing I can comment on about what you are saying is that yes, innocent men are actually worried about being accused. As a small personal anecdote, I had an ex that was angry at me for telling her she needed to get a job after several months of just deciding to not work after we moved in together. After we broke up over it and I told her to move out, she told her entire family and new boyfriend that I had raped her and that was why we broke up. I’ve never done that and even the thought makes me nauseaus. Her boyfriend and 77 year old grandmother came to my house to collect a few of her things and her boyfriend tried to attack me. Her grandmother had to intercede to stop it because she knew that it wasn’t true.
So because you had troubles makes other people’s troubles invalid? I wasn’t crying about anything. I was sharing an experience relevant to a topic at hand. Kind of a shitty double standard there and doesn’t really help either side. Having 5 sisters and mostly women friends, I very much am aware of the fears and struggles women face, even if I haven’t experienced them directly myself. Which is why I said the only thing I can comment on is that decent/innocent men do, indeed, worry about accusations. You are certainly making a whole lot of assumptions and are apparently pretty bad at nuanced understanding of complex situations.
I want to point this out again so you really understand here - you are ignoring this community’s wishes and rules. You are choosing to ignore our stated wishes and forcing your opinion and views onto us despite all of us saying we don’t want to hear it.
You are acting like a man who does not respect or care to understand what women want and you are choosing to do what YOU want regardless.
You ARE acting like a man who does not respect women’s boundaries. You ARE acting like a man who doesn’t care to make women feel safe.
Okay, not that this is your business, but I actually was born with a vagina, so nice assumption making you’re doing there. I’m taking horomones and have a beard now, sure, but still. You’re acting like the stereotypical idiot that everyone makes fun of and uses to belittle your entire opinion. I’ve not talked down to anyone nor have I made any assumptions about anyone or anything. You’re being overly hostile for no reason
Transmen are men, so the rules still apply to you.
I’m sorry you got accused of rape. But coming into a thread where the majority of people in the community have actually experienced rape and assault at the hands of men and sharing that story is tone deaf at best.
You’re acting like the stereotypical idiot that everyone makes fun of and uses to belittle your entire opinion.
I can’t tell you how many women have reached out to me directly to thank me for the ways I push back on the sexism on Lemmy and in this community.
Not when the comment I replied to was talking about a man’s perspective on being accused of rape, it’s not. I spent the first 20 years of my life as a woman. My view is just as valid as yours, even if I was lucky enough to have not been actually raped
I think it’s rather gross of you to wield your gender this way. You clearly identify as a man from your story and your subsequent comments. Your insistence on participating in this community of women and femmes is weird at this point.
They weren’t looking for support they were sharing their unique view and you got offered because it is a (trans) man in your echo chamber safe space. Grow up and treat people like people.
Lmao. Are you assuming my gender now too? I respect everyone by default until they act disrespectful. Sorry you can’t just wave me away like I’m some filthy man. Again grow up and treat people like people.
Have you lost track of the conversation? The man who we are talking about is the one who chose not to read the rules and proceeded to break them multiple times.
Women protecting our spaces isn’t the enemy you want. Where’s this energy for the man who insisted on sharing his views in a space that is specifically set aside for women and femme people? It’s much more disrespectful for him to insist on participating than anything I’ve said here.
Why the fuck do you think a post on a woman’s community talking about sexual assault is the place to seek someone to tell you you’re a good man and hand hold you through your personal neuroses and trauma.
It’s so cool when men come into this women’s only community and lecture at us.
There are bad actors everywhere of every gender.
It’s still true that decent men do not sit around worrying about being accused of being unsafe towards women.
Women wanting to be safe is not an attack on men.
Oh sorry. Didn’t noticed it was a women’s only community. It just popped up in my feed and I replied. I’ll leave you to it then.
Hopefully we don’t get an influx of men crying about the chance of being accused of rape in a community of women where statistically 30% of us have been sexually assaulted and/or raped.
Statistically, 30% admit to being sexually assaulted (in the US).
Thank you, yes. Very important distinction. The numbers are much higher.
Which makes the whining even more cringe.
It’s way higher in my experience. One in four girls have been sexually abused before the age of 18, so not even counting after that.
You’re right, it’s definitely higher which is why I threw in “statistically”. It is very difficult to report and record sexual assault and rape cases for many reasons.
Sometimes this kind of conversation will attract men who want to be technically correct and I was trying to avoid arguing with anyone about what the “real” numbers are. So I pulled what we know for sure for my comment.
The fact that it’s even higher makes this kind of whinging to women about being seen as unsafe around women very cringe.
Tbh I’d be surprised if we didn’t. Although our beloved blahaj admins work hard to ban people so hopefully most have been banned before
Only 30%? I’m actually surprised.
30% reported cases in the US anyway, which certainly doesn’t paint the entire picture.
The only thing I can comment on about what you are saying is that yes, innocent men are actually worried about being accused. As a small personal anecdote, I had an ex that was angry at me for telling her she needed to get a job after several months of just deciding to not work after we moved in together. After we broke up over it and I told her to move out, she told her entire family and new boyfriend that I had raped her and that was why we broke up. I’ve never done that and even the thought makes me nauseaus. Her boyfriend and 77 year old grandmother came to my house to collect a few of her things and her boyfriend tried to attack me. Her grandmother had to intercede to stop it because she knew that it wasn’t true.
Crying to a women’s group about being accused of rape when about half of us have been victims of rape and assault sure is a choice you made.
So because you had troubles makes other people’s troubles invalid? I wasn’t crying about anything. I was sharing an experience relevant to a topic at hand. Kind of a shitty double standard there and doesn’t really help either side. Having 5 sisters and mostly women friends, I very much am aware of the fears and struggles women face, even if I haven’t experienced them directly myself. Which is why I said the only thing I can comment on is that decent/innocent men do, indeed, worry about accusations. You are certainly making a whole lot of assumptions and are apparently pretty bad at nuanced understanding of complex situations.
The least you could do is respect that this is a women’s only space and leave us to our community.
Instead you are forcing yourself onto us here. So much for respecting women.
I want to point this out again so you really understand here - you are ignoring this community’s wishes and rules. You are choosing to ignore our stated wishes and forcing your opinion and views onto us despite all of us saying we don’t want to hear it.
You are acting like a man who does not respect or care to understand what women want and you are choosing to do what YOU want regardless.
You ARE acting like a man who does not respect women’s boundaries. You ARE acting like a man who doesn’t care to make women feel safe.
Okay, not that this is your business, but I actually was born with a vagina, so nice assumption making you’re doing there. I’m taking horomones and have a beard now, sure, but still. You’re acting like the stereotypical idiot that everyone makes fun of and uses to belittle your entire opinion. I’ve not talked down to anyone nor have I made any assumptions about anyone or anything. You’re being overly hostile for no reason
Transmen are men, so the rules still apply to you.
I’m sorry you got accused of rape. But coming into a thread where the majority of people in the community have actually experienced rape and assault at the hands of men and sharing that story is tone deaf at best.
I can’t tell you how many women have reached out to me directly to thank me for the ways I push back on the sexism on Lemmy and in this community.
You’re the one acting a fool in here.
Not when the comment I replied to was talking about a man’s perspective on being accused of rape, it’s not. I spent the first 20 years of my life as a woman. My view is just as valid as yours, even if I was lucky enough to have not been actually raped
Your view as a man isn’t welcome here.
I think it’s rather gross of you to wield your gender this way. You clearly identify as a man from your story and your subsequent comments. Your insistence on participating in this community of women and femmes is weird at this point.
Are you concussed or something? You’ve been told MULTIPLE TIMES now that this is a women’s only group and you persist in posting.
Are you stupid or are you an asshole? There’s no other option left.
Behave like an adult.
There are other communities where LostCarcosan can get support for this issue.
They weren’t looking for support they were sharing their unique view and you got offered because it is a (trans) man in your echo chamber safe space. Grow up and treat people like people.
Their unique view isn’t wanted here. How hard is it to read the rules and respect them?
Grow up and respect women.
Lmao. Are you assuming my gender now too? I respect everyone by default until they act disrespectful. Sorry you can’t just wave me away like I’m some filthy man. Again grow up and treat people like people.
Have you lost track of the conversation? The man who we are talking about is the one who chose not to read the rules and proceeded to break them multiple times.
Women protecting our spaces isn’t the enemy you want. Where’s this energy for the man who insisted on sharing his views in a space that is specifically set aside for women and femme people? It’s much more disrespectful for him to insist on participating than anything I’ve said here.
I have no idea what you look like and I can already tell that you have a straight-up Backpfeifengesicht.
Why the fuck do you think a post on a woman’s community talking about sexual assault is the place to seek someone to tell you you’re a good man and hand hold you through your personal neuroses and trauma.