https://blahaj.zone/notes/akwp8qgrofdg0int
now i almost feel like i dont look/act fem enough for how much people call me “she” (out of niceness) it’s confusion
https://blahaj.zone/notes/akwp8qgrofdg0int
now i almost feel like i dont look/act fem enough for how much people call me “she” (out of niceness) it’s confusion
Super. I’m really so happy for you!
I was brought up that we shouldn’t apply any stereotypes based on gender/sex; that that was sexism and bad. So it’s confusing for me when I see people fight to be one gender so that they can partake in the stereotypes. I thought the fight was that people should just be able to wear what they like (pants, dresses, makeup, suits, etc.), act how they like and have interests that they like, regardless of gender. But I recognize that such ideals haven’t really succeeded in western society; so maybe it’s easier to wear what you want as a particular traditional gender that you pick. And that’s really just another way to look at the same thing. And maybe society understands that more? But it seems like the wrong fight to me; saying you want to be, say, a girl so you can wear and do girly things feels kinda sexist and conservative.
But above all, of course, everyone should be able to wear whatever they want for whatever reason they want. And if you’ve found yourself, I’m so happy for you.
It’s not really an ideological thing for me, and there is no logic behind how being perceived makes me feel. I’m not a trans woman because I think I should be free to be who I want; I am trans specifically because I have no choice in the who I am.
I too was taught that gender didn’t matter and that gender stereotypes and roles were only restrictive limitations. Ironically, this was a big reason as to why I didn’t figure out and accept who I was sooner. I definitely appreciated not needing to be manly, but I also felt like I shouldn’t mind what my gender is because the whole concept was repressive. I felt guilty for wanting to be girly, for wanting constructed aspects of gender like shaving my legs or meeting conventional standards of womanhood.
I still think the whole thing is silly, but I now know that my gender isn’t a choice. It’s not just easier and more comfortable to be feminine for me, it’s the only way I can really exist. If I don’t feel feminine enough, I literally feel like I want to die no matter what I want to believe. Me being this way doesn’t invalidate people who fall outside of the binary, as they have as little choice in who they are as I do. Even if someone can literally choose to be whatever gender they want, they didn’t choose to have that privilege.
I don’t speak for everyone but I think for some people this is a big part of it. Fighting for what you just described here is hard enough already. Many people just want to live their lives and be happy. Also, non-binary people exist and are generally considered to be a part of the trans umbrella. I think the first step to building a society where gender truely doesn’t matter starts with building a society where all trans people are welcomed and accepted.