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ZeroCool@piefed.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 4 days ago

‘America’s parasites, worms and bacteria are finally enjoying freedom from government interference,’ insists RFK Jr

newsthump.com

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‘America’s parasites, worms and bacteria are finally enjoying freedom from government interference,’ insists RFK Jr

newsthump.com

ZeroCool@piefed.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 4 days ago
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Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr has hailed what he called “a new golden age of biological liberty”, after reports of rising Cyclospora infections and concerns over screwworm outbr…
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  • troybot@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    My tapeworm tells me what to do!

    • fartographer@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Pull the tapeworm out of your ass

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Praise shai hulud!

  • turdburglar@piefed.social
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    4 days ago

    he looks like a moldy raisin.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      He’s always a different, strange color. And it’s never “human color”

    • altphoto@lemmy.today
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      3 days ago

      I was going to say that. Then I saw I ate the onion once more.

      • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        He looks like a moldy raisin in every other photo too. Like this one on Wikipedia

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_F._Kennedy_Jr.?wprov=sfti1#2024_presidential_campaign

  • Basic Glitch@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    Honestly, completely plausible the 🧠 🪱 has been instructing him to help ensure it’s survival this whole time, and now we’re headed towards a global 🧠🪱 Pluribus style take over.

    Except we don’t even get the benefits of new overlords who exploit our empathy to convince us this is for our own good.

    Just like “Well the system was already broken anyway. If you don’t want to drink raw milk and pretend it’s warding off evil spirits, you can just go spend some mandatory time thinking about your attitude in a privately run, state funded wellness camp until you’re feeling rehabilitated.”

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