Yes you seem to get it!

Resocializing is also a big part of transition for many Trans people, becuase the world around you is literally starting to treat you different and expecting you to exhibit certain behavior. Navigating that can be difficult but also so fullfiling.

You trying to tell me what my experience of this world was and is like is really rude and ignorant.

Like obviously I adopted some bad/toxic behaviour of people treating me like a man but you can unlearn that, be better.

Silly example: lots of men do not wash their hands after using the toilet, it is in male circles generally accepted as normal behaviour. When transitioning I very quickly washed my hands everytime, because of how normal it is for all women in the bathroom to just wait their turn to wahs their hands…

Am I now “feeeemale socializeeed” wahahahahha?

No I would not even say so.

female and male, in this context, are used to mostly describe the bad manly and good womanly behavior.

This bad male behavioral traits however, you will notice are not exclusive to men in your life. If a cis women is speaking up loud and interrupts other people (and there are those that do this) you would not call them male socialized but obnoxious, inconsiderate and loud. There is literally no reason why you should not just call out bad behavior for what it is, rather than to blame a persons asigned gender at birth for it.

Just do not push your ideals of gender on the behavior of people, judge them by their character.

The term “male socialized” is mostly used to try to split trans and cis women appart. People that use this word basically use the logic men are bad, and they behave bad, and if one (trans) woman was treated as a man before they adopt that behaviour.

This is just a way to basically call trans people their Asigned gender at birth without really doing so.

People tried to “socialize” me as male a long time and guess what? It did not work. Like I was and still am a woman. The thing I rather say when talking about that concept is that people treated me as if I were male.

2 in morning 0 on midday 2 in the evening, At least for me E Levels started to drop too fast so that I can not just take once a day

I am currently on Gynokadin as well with testo blockers though.

If I would be in the situation of having 6 cans of gynokadin and no other acces to hormones I would probably do the following

In my experience Gel is not so easy to get right there is stuff you have to watch out for, putting it on the right spots, switching spots, not getting clothes on too soon, getting a feel for the area needed.

I feel like the postive effects from E did take a lot longer to set in than the positive effects of not having testosterone in my system (which is a lot more easy with blockers) .

If taking mono therapy I would probably start on 4-6 pumps per day doing 2-0-2, 3-0-2, 2-0-3 or 3-0-3 but this will likely not be sufficent for T suppresion (I would look into scrotal application for that). If I could acces it I would get bloodwork done. The bottles should last about 4-6 month but I am not so sure about that.

The route over a private clinic would probably be better. I think starting with a professional is generally better and if it wont wake too long, I would just try to hold on. Also if I was going to a professional and am already on some hormones I would communicate that or stop 3-4 weeks before your appointments so my levels are “normal” I guess. they could underdose me otherwise. I would also look for info on transfemscience.org for tapering down and doing DIY in general

I am not a healthcare professional and my writing is based on my own experience with the product, I am just saying what I would do in that hypothetical situation and this should not be taken as medical advice

transfemscience.org is generally a good ressource

I heard some surgeon use a chemical based permanent hair removal on the inverted part of skin tissue. But I just heard it second hand.

I bottomed at 18. … That bottom

I used to use two different surface pro 5s with linux surface kernel arch and KDE. The first one worked really well even with pen input and I really liked the form factor, after this device got stolen I bought another surface 5pro but this time I could not get pen input to work properly. You just run into weird bugs with these deices. Pen input worked with some hacking but then later it didnt work again. If you catch a device that works its really nice if not you loose some functionality

Hi I am on 4 Months of HRT and have had a lot of similar feelings. I feel like for me the first and second point of yours, at least for me, are inherently linked.

When I still had Testosterone in my system and my sex drive activated my physical body got actual satisfaction of topping people which was why I didn’t really mind it. I didn’t especially like it but when my partner wanted it or I was very horny it was still a way to recieve some pleasure I guess.

When I started HRT suddenly this biological satisfaction was mostly gone and I found myself not enjoying topping anymore. I spoke to a friend about it and they mentioned dissociation, which when I started talking about how I used to experience sex when topping with T in my system, it more and more started sounding like dissociation. At one point I realized that when I was topping I was giving away conscious control of my body cause I felt uncomfortable with it, my actual feelings were disconnected from what my body felt. My body got “some” amount of pleasure and I could give my partner pleasure so I used to cope with it thinking it wasn’t all bad but reflecting it was never good for me.

As for surgery even if the first two points are true it does not mean that you have to get bottom surgery. Your life is not all about sex and sex isn’t all about penetrating or getting penetrated, try out some stuff , experiment learn how you can feel your body and how you feel in your body.

Whichever path you choose I hope you will feel better with your body