and what language is afforded to us to develop self-understanding

Oh how everything has to be so strictly subdivided among only two genders. I never realized how annoying I found that until the past couple months.

Thank you friend 💖

I have a long term amazing partner that I’m already planning to marry so I’m not too worried about not being taken care of sexually or emotionally… Her libido is higher than mine by many orders of magnitude lol.

Sex being a longer but more fulfilling experience sounds like it would be preferred to me. Like, I just can’t get engaged enough in my current mind to make it last more than maybe 30 minutes without forcing it and then I get tired and grumpy. It seems like going on HRT changes all that and y’all speak very highly of it which is making me begin to want it…

Uh, is your experience written with or without bottom surgery? I don’t know I’m ever brave enough to go that far but the thought is still floating around in there.

Thank you for your input girl I really appreciate it 💖 y’all are amazing

Yeah I feel ya, I’ve had prostate O’s before, usually in addition to stimulating the front and they are very intense. It’s really dependent on warming up and being in right headspace else it doesn’t feel that good vs. just jacking off. But the envy is still there because that takes so much extra prep and doesn’t always work out.

[email protected] may be another resource

Godspeed sister, sending hugs (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

reall

Yeah the vibe I’m getting is there’s a lot of cheap ways to try out the appearance long before I get as far as buying real forms or those bra buddies. I’ll probably amazon some regular bra pads and try them first. Cuz Man, if everything else unclockable makes is garbage I’d hate to support their company.

oh man another hobby to learn right now might not be my first choice lol

BUT those do look comfy and I bet I could make them work…

Yeah kinda feeling I’ll probably just Amazon some bra with some extra pads and see how it looks on me lol

fuck if you can grow them that good at 31 there’s still hope for me

ahh thank you

I knew there had to be something like that didn’t know word

now I guess I gotta try and find a bra to stuff things in…

Yeah, I might see if I can get a hold of some and try it for a couple days.

Nah. Cats are the supreme court.

They judge you based on some secret undescribed rules they care not to share with the public, stare down at you from their pulpit, and generally answer to no-one

I feel kinda same. I’m still questioning but I’ve begun to realize that being a man is not something I really every leaned into in my life, it was just like. A label applied and I did nothing to support or deny it. It was a thing just vaguely attached to myself. Dressing myself was always practical first with no care to color or coordination (jeans, belt, and long sleeve cotton shirts is about the only thing I’ve ever worn for my entire life, farm work necessitates it) and I have like, 3 dress shirts and a single pair of black slacks total for “fancy” events.

But I went and bought a skirt and some thigh highs on a whim last month from Amazon and upon putting them on, almost immediately I find myself thinking about color coordination, accessories, ways to combine different things that accentuate my hips, and WHOOF. Suddenly I am left wondering if my not caring about gender appearance was just bottling my feelings lol.

I didn’t mind topping, I didn’t mind being the one that leads during sex, or takes on more aggressive/dominant, masculinized roles, but never once did I feel fulfilled by that.

Oh jesus, this suddenly resonated fuck. I don’t mind taking the masculine role either, thinking back to current and past partners I really enjoyed traditional sex when it was fresh, but I realize once the autism novelty seeking wears off I’m not really feeling like I’m getting fulfillment out of it. Gah.

Thank you girl you are so validating <33

Are you on hrt by any chance? Ive been reading a lot and ig breast sensitivity is one of the first things to come with higher E levels.

Very similar, I’ve like, basically never liked my nipples played with but my gf really loves hers being played with. I thought it was a autism sensory thing with me but I wonder if it was my brain blocking it out.

I might try some of that on myself…

I didn’t mean to drag any unintentional transphobia in here, I’m sorry… Bit it’s kind of unavoidable, when trying to hash out my questioning feelings of femininity when I’m still outwardly presenting as a man.

I don’t know what the better way to describe the differences is? Like majority of trans girls don’t get bottom surgery iirc so theyre still gonna have a penis and slight biological differences in arousal, yes they’re just as much of a woman as any other but those exact differences of cis man vs trans woman is what my brain is trying to wrap itself around and understand right now.

Either way I’ve been very grateful to the comments people have left its been helping me look at myself a little more subjectively and in depth even if I’m still not admitting anything to myself lol

I’ve found that exporting to PDF sometimes has inconsistent results vs passing it thru the systems print dialog. Like sometimes fonts fail to render or locations/margins get messed up when “exported” since that’s the softwares built in interpreter.

I’m almost wondering if fluid is the label that applies because I find myself wildly oscillating between the two in my mind. But I think part of it is not being fully ok or convinced of being partially or wholly fem yet.

Yeah, I have dedicated time off coming up for the Christmas season and I’m a little worried about what revelations I might discover during that now… Haha