This illustration is completely wrong.

The man representing hackers isn’t in a fur suit.

Basically a meal worth of calories that we’ve been conditioned to consider a mid day treat or pick me up.

What jelly lurks within the Croak-Nut?

You are literally sitting on a water chair and not hydrating?

Now I’m imagining your in game nemesis following you into various pause/configuration windows if you take too long.

What if we build it on a repurposed oil tanker and park it in the great Pacific Garbage Patch?

That would have been amazing, but no. In the late 90s/early 00s Polaroid was struggling and slapped their name on a bunch of shit products. Still kinda does.

It’s weird to think that 1 Hour Photo processing pretty much killed the instant camera, then digital killed 90 percent of actual film processing. Every once in a while somebody comes out with a pocket sized digital printer that can turn your phone into a convoluted Instax, but they are always shit quality or one of the consumables required for the process cost way too much.

I hate that Pink Floyd guy.

My mom probably still has the amazing Polaroid digicam that I bought on clearance around 99. It could store, like, 20 VGA images on the internal storage. It took around 5 seconds to capture an image that looked like it had been forgotten at the bottom of a half eaten bowl of ramen.

I watch Sam’s stuff on YouTube, and he is a super creative tech weirdo, not a pop star.

Kind of mind boggling that he was selected for this competition.

I doubt his member could choke anything larger than a teacup Chihuahua.

Thankfully, it still has acid to soften up your teeth, pleasing the Secret Cabal of Dentists.

All we need to do is reverse the impulsors and route weapons systems into the storage matrix.

I used to listen to Unexplained Mysteries to fall asleep, and because it was pretty good at covering whatever strange photos/videos were going viral, but it became so clear that they were just plugging a headline into an LLM and using that to stretch it out to 10 minutes that I had to unsub.

It just repeats the same couple statements over and over with slight variation while cycling through a three frame slide show.

I’ve seen a couple soda/dry bars open in my city. One only lasted until the Kickstarter money ran out and the other quietly rebranded and started serving alcohol.

Certain markets just don’t work, unfortunately.

I was going to suggest tonic, too, BUT, depending on the market, the tonic out of the gun can have loads of sugar, in the US at least. Bottled tonic like Fever Tree is pretty low sugar.

My Irish American grandma on my dad’s side had two recipes. 'Roast Butt ', some pale greasy meat that was boiled until it was falling apart, yet still resisted cutting and chewing once it cursed your plate: the left overs of this were tossed into a pot with a can of La Choy ‘Oriental Style Vegetables’ and a bottle of some sweet sauce and dubbed ‘Chop Suey’, which was probably from a recipe she got out of an ad in the back of a TV guide in the 60s.

The woman could boil a mean potato, though.

My Oklahoma dust bowl era meemaw never really cooked anything that didn’t come from a can, but she baked bread and ‘English Muffins’ from scratch that held up well when frozen.

The bread was really dry and tasteless unless you really slathered on condiments. The ‘muffins’ were flattened little lumps of dough that were as dense as a dying star, not a single nook or cranny in sight, with a chewy raw consistency not unlike chewing gum.

I actually liked those a lot, and was disappointed later in life when I had store bought English Muffins, which were more like a mutant crumpet than anything else.

My mom and sister have the recipes, but neither have attempted making them. I’m afraid to read them because they’ll probably just say:

One box Jiffy baking mix, water, salt. Bake until done.

Windows 3.11 or bust.

You can pry my Workgroups from my cold, dead, hands.

Fighting a category 3 wild fire is one of the rare times both Rabbit Punches and Full Nelsons are legally sanctioned.

Public Enemy had ‘911 Is A Joke’, it’s more about EMTs not rushing to ‘bad’ neighborhoods, though.