They desperately need us to believe that it’s skynet, so we dont realize it’s just evil C3PO

Insert Peter Griffin skin chart here…

Why did you stop throwing parties at your house after we trashed the place? It’s not faaaaaaaair

If it taaaaaaakes forever…

How about you give away your family’s massive pile of ill-gotten-gains to the cause? No? Ok fuck right off on a private jet to bloody hell, along with the whole useless vestigial tail of monarchy.

He looks like he’s practiced this on the women he’s got locked in his basement.

He was always right. I’m glad he’s angrier about it now, rightfully so, it’s so frustrating to see the world dance around the issue with side projects instead of a more concerted drive to urgently stop burning fossil fuels.

My CABBAGES!!!

Ok here me out, we get the tree planters to plant massive weed fields all over the Canadian wilderness, then whenever the fires blow smoke south, is has the side effect of chilling America the fuck out for a minute.

Just gotta keep eating until your blood becomes queso and you start inspiring ultimate loyalty.

Homemade pizza, and some often unhinged (but delicious) topping creation to go along with it.