growsomethinggood ()

I think that’s a reasonable approach! This community specifically asks men not to comment or post so it’d be great if they decided to listen like that instead!

And we see no irony in going into a women-only community, making assumptions about how a woman speaks, and telling her to try talking less?

I think you are willfully misinterpreting me if you think I’m implying that. Radfem is specifically used by TERFs, yes. Terrible people appropriate neutral or positive terms to make themselves sound better all the time. Understanding specific contexts where those appropriations are used to signal bad faith usage is important so you don’t end up platforming TERFs and Nazis, reasonable enough?

Sure, but that’s how they choose to label themselves. Like the same way Nazis weren’t socialist but they stuck it in their name (and then persecuted the socialists). Being suspicious of people using the label “radfem” is normal since anyone who is actually radical about feminism in a non-transphobic way would use a different label to avoid association with TERFs.

Extremely true! It can help to understand the type of transphobe so you can pick up on dog whistles like radfem more easily of course.

Besides disagreeing with the conclusion, I’m deeply suspicious of accounts with “radfem” in the name since that’s what TERFs like to call themselves.

The one thing they don’t tell you is that you don’t have to do everything at once, come out to everyone at the same time, etc. Do what feels right for you! There’s not a wrong answer unless it’s something that doesn’t work for you for whatever reason.

You can change your online persona well before your irl. You can have a handful of besties who use your name and pronouns before everyone else. You can come out and ask everyone to respect your new name and never even go on hormones; you can use the mood boost from starting HRT to propel you forward socially!

No one’s journey is identical, and that’s okay. Don’t feel bad for taking the time you need, but don’t delay something wonderful for the sake of other people either. You’ve got this!

@[email protected] I am likely many miles away, but I am here with you.

Today I’m going to plant some seedlings in the earth and say your name. When you next have the opportunity, please do similar for me.

We are not selfish, we are taking care of each other, little bit by bit. You are not alone. We are never alone.