I initially thought this was a cat-related meme for some reason

Praise the prophets! A new toilet has been revealed unto me!

How do you get an elephant into a bikini?

1. Open bikini
2. Remove the manatee from the bikini
3. Open fridge
4. Remove elephant from fridge
5. Insert elephant into bikini
6. Close bikini

Meme was cut short.

“How’d they get the manatee in a bikini?
And is it single?”

I toyed with the reverse scenario: Lt Dan taking Forrest and Jenny to meet the Shrimp Nazi

Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

The only correct response to political pressure from the USA is stronger resistance

Perhaps the Met Police Commissioner should write a strongly worded letter to Farage then? Or does he reserve that action for left-wing parties only?

I didn’t know the Church of England was this based

Meanwhile her face is ‘WTF is this thing?!’

The entrant from any new country must do Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. Can’t think of anything more cringe right now

In retaliation I now post notice that from today Sony does not own the money I transfer to them in exchange for goods or services. They have a limited, time bound, non-exclusive license to those funds which may be revoked by me at any time. By accepting my money, Sony also agrees to mandatory arbitration overseen by my 10 year old cat.

Time to start putting some execs in prison for a very long time

The U.S. military has now confirmed the acceptance of at least six F-35 Joint Strike Fighters for the U.S. Marine Corps without radars. This is due to issues tied to the development of the new AN/APG-85 radar, the first production lot of which is scheduled to be delivered in 2028. The prospect of radarless F-35s had first emerged publicly back in February. The AN/APG-85 is a critical component of the larger Block 4 upgrade package for all variants of the F-35, an effort that has been mired in cost growth and delays.

Ofwat riding in at the last minute to save CEO bonuses, hurrah! Everyone rejoiced.

Starmer doesn’t publicly shit himself, so I guess he’s got that going for him 🤷

I note that this synopsis conveniently forgets the punitive treatment of disabled people by cutting disability benefits and support, the erosion of trans rights, imprisonment of grandmothers for peacefully protesting an active genocide and selling arms to a country engaged in genocide. So left wing. Radical. Wow.

It’s only soccer if they forget to wear their boots

Or around 150,000 furlongs per fortnight