And like the term that’ll be used as they push to make more anti-trans legislation. Honestly, if it wasn’t such a headache legally, I wonder how many people would change their name for reasons unrelated to being trans/enby I.e. i don’t have a great relationship with my parents, I’d happily change my family name to something else, yes I know people getting married often deal with that headache, but the point remains.
We should have some sort of naming ceremony where you don’t have a legal name until you’re 16 or so and at that time you get to pick your name like some sort of right of passage, that’d be pretty sick honestly.
I know someone in my family who changed her “nom d’usage” (“usage name”) with a personal reason related to their own preference, and discomfort with her official first name, but with no relation (from what I know) to :
a name perceived by others as weird
a name perceived by others as foreign (as in “foreigners”, “immigrants”, because of systemic racist and xenophobic affects.)
a gender transition
burning bridges with their official family (she didn’t do that, and only changed their family name with marriage)
escape from harassment
Her real/used/preferred first name is actually a common variant of a part of her official first name (a composite name). She did this change, a social transition of sort, decades ago.
Strangely, other people in the family don’t see how it would be similar to a social transition due to gender identity. By even if they didn’t make a difference, I’m not sure it would be better : she is often deadnamed by her own brothers and sisters as a joke, and they mock her for many other things. (I did too, while I hadn’t escaped their influence and thus hadn’t started deconstructing my affects. I hate that I did.)
My point was : name changes already happen with cishet persons without trying to escape an external threat. They’re probably rare, and not that well accepted. (Better accepted that LGBTQIA+ chosen name, but still not good, except for some privileged celebrities.)
I hope these get more widely accepted, whatever the reason. So yeah, let’s normalize social acts usually associated with (oppressed) minorities, in a way that contribute to make the society a safer and better place. (I’m of course not talking about culural appropiation here.)
Note: In France, from what I understand, “nom d’usage” is a legal qualification for a name commonly used socially, and recognised by authorities, but which is not one of the person’s offcial names. It is commonly known to be used by people in the situations listed above. In addition, we can have many official “prénoms” (first names), and each of them can legally be used both separately and interchangeably as a single first name in official or contractual documents. (Except some administrative procedures that impose listing all of the first names.)
If I’m understanding that final note correctly, I wish the US had something like that with multiple accepted names. These are not my names, but as an example my legal name could be Franklin, but I go by Frank and half my documents for getting an ID could say Frank and the other half say Franklin and depending on who’s working the DMV that day I might need to go find replacements for all the ones with Frank. This gas happened to me multiple times, and yeah maybe I could stop putting the short form on documents, but no, if it doesn’t need my SSN it also shouldn’t need my full legal name.
Nobody ever talks about Chad Ochocinco, Angelina Jolie, Miley Cyrus, Cher, Olivia Wilde, Elton John, or any other celebrity that legally changed their name having a “preferred name.” It’s just their name.
same i just refer to my legal name as “my legal name” and my actual name as “my name” and frankly nobody’s ever thought anything of it. i’ve been referring to myself with a different name basically since i learned what a name is, and frankly don’t even think of the legal one as a name at all - it’s just a string of letters i use to identify myself on certain official paperwork, no different than a passport- or health insurance number.
(transitioning has made this all very confusing because now i’m juggling 3-4 new names, and am also constantly flip-flopping on whether i want to keep using my old name or want to burn it with fire, and also still have the same legal name)
I hate calling my non legal name my preferred name. Its my real name! The other name is now just legal
illegal name sounds more cool
When I changed my name legally, I posted “I’m no longer illegally NAME.”
And like the term that’ll be used as they push to make more anti-trans legislation. Honestly, if it wasn’t such a headache legally, I wonder how many people would change their name for reasons unrelated to being trans/enby I.e. i don’t have a great relationship with my parents, I’d happily change my family name to something else, yes I know people getting married often deal with that headache, but the point remains.
We should have some sort of naming ceremony where you don’t have a legal name until you’re 16 or so and at that time you get to pick your name like some sort of right of passage, that’d be pretty sick honestly.
I know someone in my family who changed her “nom d’usage” (“usage name”) with a personal reason related to their own preference, and discomfort with her official first name, but with no relation (from what I know) to :
Her real/used/preferred first name is actually a common variant of a part of her official first name (a composite name). She did this change, a social transition of sort, decades ago.
Strangely, other people in the family don’t see how it would be similar to a social transition due to gender identity. By even if they didn’t make a difference, I’m not sure it would be better : she is often deadnamed by her own brothers and sisters as a joke, and they mock her for many other things. (I did too, while I hadn’t escaped their influence and thus hadn’t started deconstructing my affects. I hate that I did.)
My point was : name changes already happen with cishet persons without trying to escape an external threat. They’re probably rare, and not that well accepted. (Better accepted that LGBTQIA+ chosen name, but still not good, except for some privileged celebrities.) I hope these get more widely accepted, whatever the reason. So yeah, let’s normalize social acts usually associated with (oppressed) minorities, in a way that contribute to make the society a safer and better place. (I’m of course not talking about culural appropiation here.)
Note: In France, from what I understand, “nom d’usage” is a legal qualification for a name commonly used socially, and recognised by authorities, but which is not one of the person’s offcial names. It is commonly known to be used by people in the situations listed above. In addition, we can have many official “prénoms” (first names), and each of them can legally be used both separately and interchangeably as a single first name in official or contractual documents. (Except some administrative procedures that impose listing all of the first names.)
If I’m understanding that final note correctly, I wish the US had something like that with multiple accepted names. These are not my names, but as an example my legal name could be Franklin, but I go by Frank and half my documents for getting an ID could say Frank and the other half say Franklin and depending on who’s working the DMV that day I might need to go find replacements for all the ones with Frank. This gas happened to me multiple times, and yeah maybe I could stop putting the short form on documents, but no, if it doesn’t need my SSN it also shouldn’t need my full legal name.
Nobody ever talks about Chad Ochocinco, Angelina Jolie, Miley Cyrus, Cher, Olivia Wilde, Elton John, or any other celebrity that legally changed their name having a “preferred name.” It’s just their name.
There is my name, and then there’s what the government calls me
we always called it “your full government name”
i don’t know why. our siblings only heard it from our mothers when they were mad at us
same i just refer to my legal name as “my legal name” and my actual name as “my name” and frankly nobody’s ever thought anything of it. i’ve been referring to myself with a different name basically since i learned what a name is, and frankly don’t even think of the legal one as a name at all - it’s just a string of letters i use to identify myself on certain official paperwork, no different than a passport- or health insurance number.
(transitioning has made this all very confusing because now i’m juggling 3-4 new names, and am also constantly flip-flopping on whether i want to keep using my old name or want to burn it with fire, and also still have the same legal name)
Sounds like a good solution would be referring to them as “legal pronouns” then.
Though, as someone else mentioned, “illegal pronouns” sound cooler
I tell people that I don’t have a name. Nobody just rolls with it 3: