Can confirm, I was awkward and embarrassing as a 19-yr old. I’m sorry to all my ex-girlfriends back then.
Granted, most of them dated me because I had a “bad boy” look and they were disappointed when they found out I was actually a quiet, introverted nerd. I was almost always the dumpee in my relationships.
I’m sorry those girls couldn’t appreciate your kind, quiet personality beyond your looks. Hope you find someone who feels lucky to have a “bad boy” with a sensitive soul.
I eventually found my soulmate later in life, who is also an introverted nerd. She also pursued me for my looks initially, but stayed because we were intellectual twins.
If there’s any advice I can give for relationships, it’s to look for someone you can be best friends with. If you’re in a relationship just for looks, understand that looks fade.
I’m in my 40s now and gaining weight due to disabilities that prevent me from exercising. Plus I’m starting to bald and growing thick hair literally everywhere else. I’m no longer the “ruggedly handsome young man” I used to be as a teenager. My wife still loves me and cherishes time with me, because we’re best friends, not shallow lovers.
A lot of younger people seem to idealize their partners. At 19 I was set on a pedestal by my then-boyfriend, like I was supposed to be some manic pixie dream girl free of any and all flaws. So when I started showing signs of being an actual human instead of the perfect doll he was imagining, he turned from love to resentment quick enough to make my head spin.
This is why I think it’s important for people to grow up seeing real girls/women. Could be moms, sisters, girls their age in the community. By real I mean people living real life, no makeup,no running somewhere else to fart, or not talking back for themselves.
Less and less the boys grow up seeing that, more and more they start to idolize women, and then have high expectations. Because all they have seen is from movies, TVs, internet.
lots of women would never want to be that way around anyone.
i have known women who dressed up w/ full make up to go to the drug story while they had the flu, because the could not bare the though of a random drug store cashier not seeing them at their best. and if you pointed out how miserable and stupid it all was, they would call you a asshole who had no pride in your appearance.
they also refused to admit they farted or pooped or anything human like that. and plenty of men are like that too.
At 19, there’s a much higher percentage of people who just don’t know what a real, healthy relationship looks like and can only go by whatever examples they have in their lives and whatever their favored media is selling to them. Aside from the exhaustion, I can’t imagine dating anyone under 25 because I can’t believe that they would be dating me as a person. It seems like standard procedure that everyone has to go around and collect some relationship ‘war stories’ before they’re ready to settle down and date for real.
Can confirm, I was awkward and embarrassing as a 19-yr old. I’m sorry to all my ex-girlfriends back then.
Granted, most of them dated me because I had a “bad boy” look and they were disappointed when they found out I was actually a quiet, introverted nerd. I was almost always the dumpee in my relationships.
I’m sorry those girls couldn’t appreciate your kind, quiet personality beyond your looks. Hope you find someone who feels lucky to have a “bad boy” with a sensitive soul.
I eventually found my soulmate later in life, who is also an introverted nerd. She also pursued me for my looks initially, but stayed because we were intellectual twins.
If there’s any advice I can give for relationships, it’s to look for someone you can be best friends with. If you’re in a relationship just for looks, understand that looks fade.
I’m in my 40s now and gaining weight due to disabilities that prevent me from exercising. Plus I’m starting to bald and growing thick hair literally everywhere else. I’m no longer the “ruggedly handsome young man” I used to be as a teenager. My wife still loves me and cherishes time with me, because we’re best friends, not shallow lovers.
A lot of younger people seem to idealize their partners. At 19 I was set on a pedestal by my then-boyfriend, like I was supposed to be some manic pixie dream girl free of any and all flaws. So when I started showing signs of being an actual human instead of the perfect doll he was imagining, he turned from love to resentment quick enough to make my head spin.
This is why I think it’s important for people to grow up seeing real girls/women. Could be moms, sisters, girls their age in the community. By real I mean people living real life, no makeup,no running somewhere else to fart, or not talking back for themselves.
Less and less the boys grow up seeing that, more and more they start to idolize women, and then have high expectations. Because all they have seen is from movies, TVs, internet.
lots of women would never want to be that way around anyone.
i have known women who dressed up w/ full make up to go to the drug story while they had the flu, because the could not bare the though of a random drug store cashier not seeing them at their best. and if you pointed out how miserable and stupid it all was, they would call you a asshole who had no pride in your appearance.
they also refused to admit they farted or pooped or anything human like that. and plenty of men are like that too.
At 19, there’s a much higher percentage of people who just don’t know what a real, healthy relationship looks like and can only go by whatever examples they have in their lives and whatever their favored media is selling to them. Aside from the exhaustion, I can’t imagine dating anyone under 25 because I can’t believe that they would be dating me as a person. It seems like standard procedure that everyone has to go around and collect some relationship ‘war stories’ before they’re ready to settle down and date for real.