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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:
when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
Going anywhere in public to socializing is expensive as hell, third places are dead, and the primary way people meet potential SOs is through apps whose purpose isn’t to make anyone happy but to extract maximum value from them.
There are people who are off the deep end, yes, but the answer isn’t to attack them like this. That’s never going to snap anyone out of it, and there really are huge societal problems that are resulting in people withdrawing, which is obviously bad for their mental health.
I’m tired of this bullshit attitude. It contributes to the very issues it diminishes. Men are allowed to have problems without being incels.
It’s not all men’s fault, but there are things you can do increase your chances. If your problem is that you never shower, then who is going to date you?
This is peak
“Well if you dont want to be homeless you should get a job”
Energy.
No, it’s more of “If you want to increase the probability of being in a relationship, you can work on yourself.” energy.
“If you don’t want to be homeless just get a job to get money and then rent a place to live”
See how that’s overly reductive to the point of it being a useless thing to add?
It’s way more than a sex issue. Getting laid is easy, if you only care about getting your dick wet. Making and keeping friends, especially meaningful friendships, is getting harder and harder. Anyone who reduces it down to “lol who cares about incels not getting laid” is being bad faith dismissive about a massive problem.
Making and keeping friends, especially meaningful friendships, is getting harder and harder.
Isn’t that kind of a self fabricated epidemic though? Seems like if it was just about struggling to make friends, and there’s a demographic of like minded people who are lonely, then isn’t the onus of befriending each other held by the demographic itself?
I feel like it’s a group of people who are bad at pingpong complaining to people about being bad at pingpong and expecting someone else to do something about it. Like, why not just play ping together until your better. An over simplified analogy of course, but my point is if what you say is true, I don’t really know what people are upset about.
Isn’t that kind of a self fabricated epidemic though?
Not necessarily. Societal factors play a huge role in how relationships with other people are formed. Places where people can naturally make deep lasting friendships are hard to come by right now. And just because two people are lonely does not mean they will make good friends. That would be wonderful if it was true, but there is more to building a friendship than just “I don’t have a friend and you don’t have a friend.”
Our society has a tendency to look at issues like this and say “well that just sounds like it’s all their own fault” without taking the thought further. WHY is this happening to so many people? And what can we do to better prepare young men to make lasting friendships and support each other more? The reason this has become more and more of an issue is specifically because people just put the blame on individuals, who don’t feel like they have the tools or opportunities to fix these issues. Then all it takes is for right wing propaganda to say “hey here is where the issue is, it’s because of feminism! You were right! It’s not your fault!” And because they are the only ones telling them that men are moving to the right in droves.
Genuinely, who keeps posting shit like this on here? I keep seeing posts such as this one and it’s honestly pushing me away from Lemmy. Why spend time on a platform that hates me? If being a man who didn’t date (because of social anxiety, btw, not that you’d care, since clearly men are by default fascists, according to some comments here) is a sin, let us know on the front page, so that me and others like myself can avoid this place.
A lot of comments are, thankfully, calling this shitty behaviour out. But then I look at the post itself, which has 696 upvotes and 166 downvotes, and I’m like… I’m not wanted here.
Why spend time on a platform that hates me?
This platform’s demographic is overwhelmingly men who are enthusiastic about tech… not exactly a population known for being a bunch of Casanovas.
Kinda feels like you are taking a post originally made on a different platform kinda personal. Judging by some of the comments there are plenty of dudes who don’t date because of social anxiety, and there seems to be some regurgitating incel propaganda.
Maybe the OG poster shouldn’t speak in absolutes, however I think it’s a reasonable criticism as a lot of the ideology surrounding “male loneliness” was created/utilized by right winged influencers to grow their viewership.
If someone said “lemmy users with the word ‘empire’ in their name are unworthy of love and need to get gud at dating.” I think you might take their words a little personal even if the post wasn’t literally directly targeted at you.
Lol, nah I don’t really take generalities personally, that’s why they’re called generalities.
Why get upset at something that isn’t specifically addressed to me and doesn’t even make any sense?
Racism is almost always generalities, that aren’t addressed to an individual person. Why does anyone get upset at racism?
