Every good one I’ve found in my life was found through shared activities that had nothing to do with dating or romance until later. The absolute worst ones in my life were blind date setups.
I found my husband by playing tabletop rpgs! I did not play to find a husband! That’s important. I played and had fun and found a smart interesting human!
I say this both bitterly sardonic of they way people handle relationships and oozing almost Hallmark levels of radiant positivity as it is where I found my spouse: check the friend zone.
I am attempting to put myself out there more but I’ve been having mixed results. Really, really mixed results. Responding right now because the person I’ve been spending a lot of time with recently and considering just turned out to have some values that are just incompatible with mine. I really didn’t expect that from them given who they are, who we met through and so on.
I also feel like I’m going to have to settle sometimes and I’d just sooner be alone than do that.
I also feel like I’m going to have to settle sometimes and I’d just sooner be alone than do that.
Don’t settle! Relationships don’t have to last forever to be considered successful in my opinion. You can enjoy sharing your time with someone and appreciate it for what it was when it’s over and that’s still totally ok.
There’s billions of people in the world. It’s very hard to find another person who is compatible enough to share your life with, but there’s fun and experiences to be had on the journey looking for them.
There is always something lacking in a major way and the odds just aren’t that good anyway. The stats for men in my age range being conservative is like 70% or more.
This guy that I was just spending time with. Black, well educated aaaaaaaaand conservative, voting red. Our shared hobbies never indicated this either because all of them seemed more like hobbies that those types would avoid. Just what are the odds here?
I feel so unlucky right now. All I’m asking is for someone who is well educated, takes care of themselves, pulls their weight and has humane views. I’m going to fucking cry because apparently that’s asking for a lot.
I dated. A lot. Went on so, so many dates after my divorce and met lots and lots of different people.
When meeting people through apps, I would text quite a bit first AND set up a video-call as a sort of test date. If they still seemed cool, I would go on an in-person date.
It helps weed out the assholes a lot, but it’s time and labor intensive.
It can be rough, but when a good one shows up it’s really amazing. Men can be so interesting and kind and sweet.
Luckily they aren’t generally the ones to be offended by women choosing how they want to present :)
Please share with us all how to find the good ones.
Every good one I’ve found in my life was found through shared activities that had nothing to do with dating or romance until later. The absolute worst ones in my life were blind date setups.
I found my husband by playing tabletop rpgs! I did not play to find a husband! That’s important. I played and had fun and found a smart interesting human!
My SO of over 20 years and I met each other playing RPGs and card games. And exactly: friends with shared interests first, lovers later.
I say this both bitterly sardonic of they way people handle relationships and oozing almost Hallmark levels of radiant positivity as it is where I found my spouse: check the friend zone.
I am attempting to put myself out there more but I’ve been having mixed results. Really, really mixed results. Responding right now because the person I’ve been spending a lot of time with recently and considering just turned out to have some values that are just incompatible with mine. I really didn’t expect that from them given who they are, who we met through and so on.
I also feel like I’m going to have to settle sometimes and I’d just sooner be alone than do that.
Don’t settle! Relationships don’t have to last forever to be considered successful in my opinion. You can enjoy sharing your time with someone and appreciate it for what it was when it’s over and that’s still totally ok.
There’s billions of people in the world. It’s very hard to find another person who is compatible enough to share your life with, but there’s fun and experiences to be had on the journey looking for them.
There is always something lacking in a major way and the odds just aren’t that good anyway. The stats for men in my age range being conservative is like 70% or more.
This guy that I was just spending time with. Black, well educated aaaaaaaaand conservative, voting red. Our shared hobbies never indicated this either because all of them seemed more like hobbies that those types would avoid. Just what are the odds here?
I feel so unlucky right now. All I’m asking is for someone who is well educated, takes care of themselves, pulls their weight and has humane views. I’m going to fucking cry because apparently that’s asking for a lot.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so hopeless about this. You’re not asking for too much! Sending you a lot of warm thoughts today <3
I dated. A lot. Went on so, so many dates after my divorce and met lots and lots of different people.
When meeting people through apps, I would text quite a bit first AND set up a video-call as a sort of test date. If they still seemed cool, I would go on an in-person date.
It helps weed out the assholes a lot, but it’s time and labor intensive.