I took this meme from @[email protected] on Mastodon. She’s a transfem from Germany (iirc) and has one of the best senses of humor I have ever seen. Give her a follow!
also I visited my sister’s place and the really nice stray is still there!! shoutout Chester the kitty!!
in this context it’s where trans people are told they pass when they’re still clockable. Depression and dysphoria can lead people to only feel like people are being honest about them when they are tearing eachother to pieces, like 4chan.
which is kinda true but also kinda not. Because like no matter what there’s still gonna be parts of you that are still you pre transition, but like you can still have those characteristics and pass well.
For a specific example I posted this in a trans discord server and got all positive responses:
whereas if I posted it to like 4chan and got a “lol you still look like a dude” comments I would feel like they’re still being honest instead of hyping me up.
Like as much as I know I do pass now (haven’t been misgendered by a customer in months) and that my cis coworkers all have more masculine features than me like one is taller, one has POCS, one has a deeper voice, etc. I still feel like people are just lying to me about it. Just a thing with depression I need to work through I guess 🤷♀️
Most cis women would be called clocky by the people on 4trans. My guess is that many of them were jealous of the toxic girl cliques in highschool and get euphoria from being immature mean girls who tear other women down. There is a difference between giving requested feedback and subjecting yourself to self-flagellation.
Also, you look great and I would never clock you based on how you look. You met the bar for “passing” long ago.
This, 100%. Never forget that they call Michelle Obama, a literal cis woman who went through multiple pregnancies, trans. They can’t clock you, they just judge you, and want to scare you. And honestly, considering the plastic monstrosities those freaks say they find attractive these days, getting “clocked” by one of them should be a point of a pride: you actually look like a human being, congrats!
Therapy. You pass 100% in that pic. Go to therapy.
Go to a photo editor and left-right flip/mirror it. You won’t recognize yourself as well.
Another thing you can do is set your phone down and record a video of yourself walking or moving. Make sure to put the phone at the eye-height of whoever you’re trying to be seen by, and far away enough that lens distortion doesn’t affect it much, and close enough that you can still see your face to your feet. Then left-right mirror that video. You’ll get the closest you can get to accurately seeing yourself, and the most honest take. If you want to have it be even more accurate, don’t watch the video, and forget about it for like six months and then finally watch it then. Time will have passed, and you’ll have changed even more yeah, but I find those are the times when I can truly see myself as if I were somebody else and have it feel fair and accurate.
Figuring out how you really look and eliminating bias is SUPER difficult. But once you get it, I’ve found is very worth it. It does require a bit of vanity. But really, be gentle with yourself, you’re way, way more attractive than you can possibly understand right now. And remember, you only get older from here. Take care of yourself and practice moderation, but try to have fun, this is your life.
You look more feminine than some of the ciswomen who live in my neighbourhood. What do you mean you don’t look passable?
Stop kicking yourself down and live!
Bitch, that’s self-hating. Stop going to 4chan. We can do it here.
i really get what you mean. i also just think that it takes a long time for your subconscious to process changes. so maybe just give it time ~