I’m a butch transbian. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:
- We’ve likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
- Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn’t get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
- Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
- Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I’m dressing like a “man”, despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
- Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
- The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
- How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
- How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
- Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to “escape” the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.
I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you’ve got.
@PurpleFanatic
I‘m not shure, if i‘m fitting in your question or how good i‘m fitting.
I‘m a bit irritated about your wording „butch transfemmes“ but it can also be a thing with my not nativ semi-good english.
I understand „Butch“ as mostly lesbian but always AFAB who feels good in male-cloth and „transfemme“ as AMAB with opposite preferences.
….
1/2
That sounds pretty trans exclusionary to say trans women cannot be butch.
@Quokka
There was a irritation and wrong connection in my brain.
Never was ment that way. Pls read all, i excused.
What about the word “butch” in your view is exclusive to people with uterus’s? Because doesn’t that mean that trans women (by this definition) can only feel good in certain clothing? Is butchness defined entirely by people with uterus’s enjoying men’s clothing?
This. Butches are basically the reverse of femboys, who can be cis guys or trans guys: it doesn’t matter which, they just need to be guys who like feminine clothing.
(There are also trans men who consider themselves butches, and trans women who consider themselves femboys, but that seems out-of-scope).
@strawberry_enjoyer42 @PurpleFanatic ok, yes, got it.
There was still a wrong connection in my head.
Hope I dod not triggered you. Sorry.
No worries, your fine. I just can’t help but put in my two cents when it comest to anything semantics-related.
Being transfemme isn’t about presentation, but about one’s body and/or identity. Personally, I’m a t-girl who likes to wear androgynous/masc-leaning clothes sometimes.
Regardless of my current attire, I’m a woman. A butch is a lesbian who presents very in a very masculine way, and a trans woman who likes other women is a lesbian.
If a transgender lesbian presents masc, then they can be a butch.
Of course, all of this is entirely made up, and it doesn’t really matter :3
@strawberry_enjoyer42
Okay. Thanks - i understand now, where the mistake comes probably from.
As I said before- I‘m not native english-speaking.
In my area „femme“ seems to be used mor as opposite of „butch“. So i don‘t know „transfemme“ this way - it was always „transwoman“, sometimes „transgirl“, never „transfemme“.
Sorry for this.
No need to appologise! You had no ill intention.
“Femme” and “butch” are opposites (though, some people consider themselves to be both—sometimes they use the term “futch”). However, “transfemme” (from my understanding) is actually a variant of “transfem”.
The term “transfem” is used by trans girls/women, but also non-binary people who are transitioning toward being female. Basically, “transfem” means someone AMAB, who is transitioning to another gender.
@strawberry_enjoyer42 and thanks for this quiet explain 💜
@PurpleFanatic
2/2
…I‘m AFAB born in a very binary world & was a long time interpreted as butch. With 50(!) i realized that there are other options & found out, that I’m nonbinary trans, still like wearing boys cloth, but I‘m also okay with feminine ones. The prob was always the female body & what in ppls heads happends because of it.
My sexuality?
I‘ll find out
Or are you a trans woman wearing man‘s cloth - so it would be opposite. :)