Studies suggest the country is more divided than ever – but we won’t come together unless we begin to talk rationally and calmly, says novelist and political scientist Elif Shafak
Unreasonable people can’t be reasoned with. There is no rational conversation with people who’s decision making is based upon racism/jingoism/national exceptionalism. The UK is still a monarchy, so I’m not convinced they can be taken any more seriously than a religious state anyway.
I have a friend who consistently pushes back on the rabid beliefs much of his family (and therefore friend group). I don’t know how he manages to not get aggressive but he patiently leads them to the inevitable dead end of their ignorance.
I don’t know that it’s helping, but he believes - and is probably not wrong - that we need to talk more. The lack of third spaces and the stream of rage-bait we are constantly fed helps people forget we have more in common than we think.
Guiding them to the dead end of their ignorance doesn’t necessarily mean it teaches them anything or changes their behaviour. A lot of absolutist thinkers can’t cope with nuance or shades of grey, they can only function with simple platitudes. Challenging that way of thinking is one of the things they believe they’re voting against.
Kudos to your friend for trying, but I think it’s more for his benefit and world view that he tries.
It’s not like the “gotcha” debates we see online. It’s more of trying to help them see in greyscale again after Facebook convinced them the world is black and white.
But you are correct; absolutists are difficult to convince otherwise.
I was recently trying to explain to my Dad that he was about to vote for actual, uniform-wearing Neo Nazis. In spite of his parents and uncles having fought against Nazis in WWII, he couldn’t change his opinion due to the ‘common sense’ message he believed he was voting for. His brain is no longer plastic enough to work with new information, but his cognitive dissonance can stretch to infinity. At some point, he decided thinking was too hard and chose to stop trying.
Unreasonable people can’t be reasoned with. There is no rational conversation with people who’s decision making is based upon racism/jingoism/national exceptionalism. The UK is still a monarchy, so I’m not convinced they can be taken any more seriously than a religious state anyway.
I have a friend who consistently pushes back on the rabid beliefs much of his family (and therefore friend group). I don’t know how he manages to not get aggressive but he patiently leads them to the inevitable dead end of their ignorance.
I don’t know that it’s helping, but he believes - and is probably not wrong - that we need to talk more. The lack of third spaces and the stream of rage-bait we are constantly fed helps people forget we have more in common than we think.
Guiding them to the dead end of their ignorance doesn’t necessarily mean it teaches them anything or changes their behaviour. A lot of absolutist thinkers can’t cope with nuance or shades of grey, they can only function with simple platitudes. Challenging that way of thinking is one of the things they believe they’re voting against.
Kudos to your friend for trying, but I think it’s more for his benefit and world view that he tries.
It’s not like the “gotcha” debates we see online. It’s more of trying to help them see in greyscale again after Facebook convinced them the world is black and white.
But you are correct; absolutists are difficult to convince otherwise.
I was recently trying to explain to my Dad that he was about to vote for actual, uniform-wearing Neo Nazis. In spite of his parents and uncles having fought against Nazis in WWII, he couldn’t change his opinion due to the ‘common sense’ message he believed he was voting for. His brain is no longer plastic enough to work with new information, but his cognitive dissonance can stretch to infinity. At some point, he decided thinking was too hard and chose to stop trying.