I like this idea but I wouldn’t even want to normalize forcing kids to make a choice. Gender is fluid and I feel like making a big deal out of them choosing at a certain age would still force them into boxes that may not necessarily fit them through their whole life.
maybe kids cant tell you before then, but i think the science shows that gender develops prior to birth. we are born with zero, one, or many genders. it just takes a while for us to figure out which. some people can tell you pretty much as soon as they can talk and some take into their 80s and some never figure it out.
rather than choosing yet another arbitrary age to impose a life long gender on children we just let people choose when theyre ready, and change their minds whenever they like.
Depends what you mean by gender. I’m using the definition of gender as a social construct, which obviously can’t form before a child begins to observe society. If you’re defining gender as a hormonal response, then sure, it probably develops in the womb. But I think that’s not very meaningful when we’re talking about how to socially identify a child. I think kids should only get gendered pronouns once they understand gender in society.
And of course, they should always be allowed to choose their gender. The reason I suggest a tradition of “gender choice day” is because most people are wangrods and will gender their kids too early, if they aren’t given a tradition with clear parameters. The idea of “gender choice day” is very similar to cultural milestones like Christmas or marriage, where we have traditions of what not to do. Don’t peek at your presents and don’t let your husband see you. People respect those boundaries because there’s a clear moment when the boundary is lifted, and it’s framed as “spoiling” the special moment. I want to harness that stuff for something that actually matters. No gendering kids before gender choice day!
Yeah, kids aren’t born with gender. It doesn’t solidify until age 4.
I think we should have a tradition of kids choosing their gender on their fourth birthday.
I like this idea but I wouldn’t even want to normalize forcing kids to make a choice. Gender is fluid and I feel like making a big deal out of them choosing at a certain age would still force them into boxes that may not necessarily fit them through their whole life.
What if we call it “first choice day”? Like, this is the first time a kid is allowed to choose their gender?
maybe kids cant tell you before then, but i think the science shows that gender develops prior to birth. we are born with zero, one, or many genders. it just takes a while for us to figure out which. some people can tell you pretty much as soon as they can talk and some take into their 80s and some never figure it out.
rather than choosing yet another arbitrary age to impose a life long gender on children we just let people choose when theyre ready, and change their minds whenever they like.
Depends what you mean by gender. I’m using the definition of gender as a social construct, which obviously can’t form before a child begins to observe society. If you’re defining gender as a hormonal response, then sure, it probably develops in the womb. But I think that’s not very meaningful when we’re talking about how to socially identify a child. I think kids should only get gendered pronouns once they understand gender in society.
And of course, they should always be allowed to choose their gender. The reason I suggest a tradition of “gender choice day” is because most people are wangrods and will gender their kids too early, if they aren’t given a tradition with clear parameters. The idea of “gender choice day” is very similar to cultural milestones like Christmas or marriage, where we have traditions of what not to do. Don’t peek at your presents and don’t let your husband see you. People respect those boundaries because there’s a clear moment when the boundary is lifted, and it’s framed as “spoiling” the special moment. I want to harness that stuff for something that actually matters. No gendering kids before gender choice day!