I’ve got to be honest, I watched this live and it made me shed a sneaky tear… I’m 54 this year.
No need to be sneaky about it, be open with your emotions! You’ll be enjoying life a lot more friend!
Fuck yeah! Crying feels good sometimes!
So any time I listen to music that’s honestly beautiful. I instantly get teary eyed. It’s from brain damage from concussions. But anymore when I get moved by music. I can’t control my emotions. It’s a curse.
I don’t think that’s from brain damage.
I think what the manosphere misses completely is that we’re all human before we’re man or woman. Yes, im a man, but first and foremost Im a human, and humans cry, take care of babies, cook, clean and everything else that some might see as “feminine.”
I am completely devoid of any experience of this manosphere. When I grew up, I’d ask for help from girls because I was crying all the time and I didn’t want to be crying all the time. Later learned it was from trauma. But most of the girls and women I talked to would say some variation of “why are men so afraid to cry?” like lady I’m not afraid, I just don’t want to, because being sad sucks. I want to stop being sad.
Or the doing the dishes, or taking care of babies, that was something that all the men did in my family, equally, going back to 1940’s Detroit.
And this kind of culture was the only one I ever experienced in school, partly because almost all of my teachers were women.
So to me, these memes about men being afraid to cry or do things seen as “feminine” are not just frustrating, they’re downright upsetting.
I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but are you sure it exists to the degree you think it does? Like have you taken a survey and checked the numbers, and if you did, are you sure you’re not confusing somewhere like NYC with somewhere like Birmingham, Alabama?
My experience is totally different. Growing up in Australia in a single-sex school, men cooking or cleaning were laughed at by teenagers, unless it was the barbeque since it’s manly. “Get back in the kitchen” jokes and “make me a sandwich” jokes were everywhere and amplified once our classes became co-ed.
The invisibility of toxic masculinity at that age was the most damaging thing. Nobody wanted to be seen as weak, so there was never a chance to understand what being strong truly meant. I think single-sex schools are unfortunately breeding grounds for the manosphere.
I always hated crying , hated feeling emotions, never wanted to be seen as weak emotionally. I’m still suffering the consequences of that environment, as suppressing sadness impacted everything else.
Edit: apologies, did not realise what community this post was in. Did not mean to ignore the rules.
Grew up in South America. Crying was treated with violence in many occasions. But it was more systematic and dependant on context… Like if the male kid having the tears was a popular one or after a lost football match, then was okay-ish or met with some surprise. If it was any other kid with “lower maleness” (e.g. other sport than football, or a kid that also happened to be sigma, or beta) then there was a high correlation of violence. This was excercised by other males, as part of a ritual to their own maleness. Yeah. Crazy stupid.
The terms sigma and beta are just made up bullshit. Even the original wolf study was about captive wolves and was subsequently disproven by studies of wild wolves.
Human relationships and hierarchies are far too complex to be explained this way.
I don’t want to come off as rude, because this is awesome and should be shared more. However, I know this is a community for women, and men technically aren’t allowed to post. Is that waived for this thread?
I think this should have been posted to a different community probably, so men are open to discuss it. That’s the point of it, isn’t it? It sucks that the first time I’m seeing it on All is a community that is explicitly not who this is helpful to.
Anyway, I love this post! I hope it’s shown everywhere.
Seriously? Of all posts this is the one you want to “um acktually”?
they didnt do that.
they asked if they (men) could dicuss this post here since its not posted anywhere else.
can we do that? post it elsewhere too, so men can? I love this post too
That’s not my intent. This community specifically has a rule banning men from commenting. (This is not a criticism of this rule either.) I was curious if that’s waived for this post. It’s specifically a post about and for men, but men aren’t supposed to be allowed to comment here.
Kind of a high bar.
It’s a peak not a bar. Go hug your bros.
They said peak, not entry level. This is advanced masculinity.
A pro-masc move, if you will.
Ok, but you have to understand that being able to cry because you named a moon crater (after a loved one) while in space is… not really something everyone can do.
On a more serious note, yes, I agree. What many want to make us believe to be peak masculinity is actually peak fragility. You have to be a special kind of fragile man to believe that crying makes you less masculine.
Friendly reminder that this absolute fucking loser is what people are basing all the “sigma” bullshit on:
