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Cake day: September 29th, 2026

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  • In her own life, when Barkhuus’s daughter first started taking the subway alone, she kept a close eye on her location, and would text if the app showed her on a train going in the wrong direction. Several times, her daughter called her mom lost, asking where to go.

    I wasn’t sure, at first, how Barkhuus felt about micromanaging her daughter’s subway rides. But when I told her about Shaw’s story of getting lost at 7, and his worry that parents are no longer giving kids the opportunity to navigate these situations on their own, she responded, “I think it’s completely correct.” In the moment, though, what mother is going to hang up on her panicking daughter? “We’re oversurveilling our children in a way that’s not necessary,” Barkhuus said, “but I don’t know how to take it away.”








  • Once, when I was flying on stand-by, I missed a flight because it was full, and had to spend ~14 hours in the Honolulu airport, because I couldn’t afford to get a motel room, or anything else. All I had in my pocket was the return ticket. All I had was the water from the water fountain. The next flight I got the very last seat, and it was in the smoking section. Ugh. But, I took it. Fortunately, I was so exhausted from getting almost no sleep the previous day, I slept through the entire flight. It took hours to clear that shit out of my lungs.

    This was 40 years ago.