Unfortunately, society is at a place where enough men have posed a risk to women that we are all a perceived potential threat.
And women are stepping up to protect each other. Instead of asking women to not step up, you should be asking men to step up and stop normalizing things like locker room talk and porn consumption, things that are proven to increase misogyny and dangerous attitudes of entitlement around sex.
Porn consumption isn’t proven to cause violent and aggressive behaviors In fact, the inverse is likely true, those who are violent tend not to have as many intimate partners and so will have higher rates of porn consumption. There are a number of studies that have found sexual violence and rape to be negatively correlated with porn use suggesting that having an outlet rather than bottling up their sexual urges is better. That being said, the content of the porn does have an impact, so it would be better to advocate for respectful and consent positive porn than to try and ban it.
Unfortunately, society is at a place where enough men have posed a risk to women that we are all a perceived potential threat.
It used to go both ways. Some men felt that they had a duty to protect women. But then they were told that that’s actually misogyny, because actually women are strong and independent and can take care of themselves and don’t need a man to protect them. So then the men who had respect for women let go of this idea where they’re supposed to be protectors.
Meanwhile, the men who don’t respect women haven’t stopped. There just aren’t any men left willing to intervene, because the ones who have have been punished and shamed for it.
So on the one hand, that makes women more vulnerable to the men who don’t respect their boundaries. And on the other hand, it means there are less men respecting boundaries in the spotlight (seriously, you don’t go viral by taking no for an answer; people only notice when it’s something bad), which skews the perception of “men” in general towards “they’re all dangerous.”
Also, it doesn’t help that people who advocate for women to learn self-defense get accused of victim-blaming (as if “be prepared and know how to defend yourself” is the same thing as “it’s your fault because you weren’t strong enough to stop it”).
And on the other hand, it means there are less men respecting boundaries in the spotlight (seriously, you don’t go viral by taking no for an answer; people only notice when it’s something bad), which skews the perception of “men” in general towards “they’re all dangerous.”
This, and sensationalist 24/7 news channels that feed on ratings even before the concept of virality (in this context), are why despite the fact that while all kinds of violent crime (incl where women are victims) have been steadily declining since 1993, the general perception is that crime has increased instead. Not just with women either, the same mechanism plays a role in why your racist uncle “doesn’t hate the blacks he just hates how they act. 13%/50% yadda yadda,” and frankly “all men will rape you” isn’t too far off from what it used to be, “all black men are Ne**o rape beasts” (bro I swear I didn’t invent it that literally was a racist trope used against black men for decades), and yeah I guess opening that up to “all men are rape beasts” is technically progress, but it’s far from ideal.
Good news is while women and uncles seem more scared than they ever have been, statistically they’re actually safer than they have been in the past, so at least we’ve got that going for us. Fat lot of good it does for the division in this country but at least you probably won’t actually be harmed by whatever race or sex you’ve chosen to be afraid of.
Unfortunately, society is at a place where enough men have posed a risk to women that we are all a perceived potential threat.
And women are stepping up to protect each other. Instead of asking women to not step up, you should be asking men to step up and stop normalizing things like locker room talk and porn consumption, things that are proven to increase misogyny and dangerous attitudes of entitlement around sex.
Oh yes, that’s why the places where is illegal or extremely restricted are known to be very egalitarian, like the UAE and India for example.
Porn consumption isn’t proven to cause violent and aggressive behaviors In fact, the inverse is likely true, those who are violent tend not to have as many intimate partners and so will have higher rates of porn consumption. There are a number of studies that have found sexual violence and rape to be negatively correlated with porn use suggesting that having an outlet rather than bottling up their sexual urges is better. That being said, the content of the porn does have an impact, so it would be better to advocate for respectful and consent positive porn than to try and ban it.
It used to go both ways. Some men felt that they had a duty to protect women. But then they were told that that’s actually misogyny, because actually women are strong and independent and can take care of themselves and don’t need a man to protect them. So then the men who had respect for women let go of this idea where they’re supposed to be protectors.
Meanwhile, the men who don’t respect women haven’t stopped. There just aren’t any men left willing to intervene, because the ones who have have been punished and shamed for it.
So on the one hand, that makes women more vulnerable to the men who don’t respect their boundaries. And on the other hand, it means there are less men respecting boundaries in the spotlight (seriously, you don’t go viral by taking no for an answer; people only notice when it’s something bad), which skews the perception of “men” in general towards “they’re all dangerous.”
Also, it doesn’t help that people who advocate for women to learn self-defense get accused of victim-blaming (as if “be prepared and know how to defend yourself” is the same thing as “it’s your fault because you weren’t strong enough to stop it”).
This, and sensationalist 24/7 news channels that feed on ratings even before the concept of virality (in this context), are why despite the fact that while all kinds of violent crime (incl where women are victims) have been steadily declining since 1993, the general perception is that crime has increased instead. Not just with women either, the same mechanism plays a role in why your racist uncle “doesn’t hate the blacks he just hates how they act. 13%/50% yadda yadda,” and frankly “all men will rape you” isn’t too far off from what it used to be, “all black men are Ne**o rape beasts” (bro I swear I didn’t invent it that literally was a racist trope used against black men for decades), and yeah I guess opening that up to “all men are rape beasts” is technically progress, but it’s far from ideal.
Good news is while women and uncles seem more scared than they ever have been, statistically they’re actually safer than they have been in the past, so at least we’ve got that going for us. Fat lot of good it does for the division in this country but at least you probably won’t actually be harmed by whatever race or sex you’ve chosen to be afraid of.
I agree many healthy social skills need to be normalized among men.
Though normalizing assuming the worst of strangers is not helping.