• VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.worksM
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    6 days ago

    In a parallel universe… DOGE Musk deploys his cybernavy in a attempt to blockade the Strait of Hormuz. A flotilla of teslas was dropped into the waters only to immediately burst into flames due to the salt water. A 2nd wave of cars stationed on a base in Egypt sympathetically started smoking. “They were fully-automated and remoted-in and we couldn’t turn them off without a forced uptdate”, said reassigned Space Force baseman. Musk sent a recall patch to the surviving smoldering fleet. The cars (including 14,211 unrelated privately-owned teslas) started self-driving to the nearest Tesla repair dealership located in Tallahassee, Florida… from Egypt. An estimated loss of 111 trillion dollars is estimated, but experts officially stopped counting and just declared the entire Tesla brand defunct. 15 years later rusty empty cars encrusted with barnacles are still reported pulling into dealerships that have long since turned into vacant lots or Taco Bells.

    • Pieisawesome@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 days ago

      He went to jail for an unregistered boat.

      If they classify the cybertruck as a boat (which Texas basically says if it is stored on water and longer than 14 feet, it’s a boat) then unregistered use will probably carry a heavier punishment than littering…

  • teyrnon@sh.itjust.works
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    8 days ago

    Ha ha ha. How much does Tesla suck? Nevertheless their stock price is still astronomically high, something’s going on there, it’s gambling it’s not investment. I mean also it’s obviously fraud.

    • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      It’s almost like stock prices don’t relate to the products being produced by those organisations and are based on whatever smell the broker heard when turning he head to look at the graph on the other screen.

  • Doomsider@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    These things are absolute death traps in this environment. The doors are electric and opening them manually is not something most people, even owners, know how to do. You can’t break the windows so no one can save you if the door won’t open. You vehicle slowly fills up with water until you drown.

    • Jiral@lemmy.org
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      8 days ago

      At least they are as dangerous for the people inside as they are for the people outside. There is a reason why they are not street legal in the EU and many if not most countries in the world.