I still have my penis and intend to keep it. I enjoy the lead up and topping, but I find that I still get a lot of dysphoria as I get closer to climaxing. It makes it essentially impossible for me to orgasm while topping, to say nothing of how uncomfortable the dysphoria is.
Does anyone have any advice on how I could make myself feel more feminine in those moments? I haven’t really tried wearing anything since I prefer to just be naked, but I guess I could try that. I guess I’m more looking for advice on how to feel like a woman topping instead of feeling like a man topping.
After I was on estrogen for a year or so, I had lost my refractory period, making multiple orgasms from stimulating the glans possible. On estrogen, orgasm isn’t a climax, it’s a cresting wave. So perhaps the issue is you’re treating orgasm as a one-and done situation, when on estrogen you really want to have orgasms regularly?
Maybe your body doesn’t want your first orgasm to be some high intensity railing, but something more preparatory. Like the orgasms someone on estrogen with a vagina has while eating them out before you even start thinking about penetration.
You could try masturbating while visualizing it, and try to listen to your body for answers. If my hypothesis is correct, a useful question would be “Could you continue after an orgasm?”. Or more concretely, when you orgasm while imagining orgasming from getting oral, does it feel pleasurable to continue masturbating and imagine switching to a different position and keeping going?
I don’t know what your situation is so this is a pretty narrow shot in the dark. Hope it helps!