Good to know that one of the high-tech speed bumps between us and atomic obliteration is an inconveniently positioned ½" steel tab with a warning that says “you really probably shouldn’t” 🤣
That button isn’t meant to stop crazy or evil people from killing us all. That’s (hopefully) taken care of by things like careful pilot vetting.
A completely sane and non-mass-murderous pilot might still accidentally press a normal button. Especially if they were tired near the end of a long mission.
It’s not as stringent as the safeguard that Roger Fisher proposed. He suggested that the nuclear launch codes be placed in a capsule and surgically implanted near the heart of a volunteer. That volunteer would follow the president around with a butcher knife. If the president ever wanted to launch the nukes it would need to be serious enough that he was willing to take that knife and carve the launch codes out of the chest of an innocent man.
I like the Homer approach. I want three different nuclear launch codes! One here, here, and here. You can never remember the nuclear launch code when you’re angry.
The current guy has killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people globally for his own ego, so one orange shitgibbon filleting an innocent person to end his amphetamine psychosis fueled tweet rampage at 3 am isn’t far fetched.
But not just any tape! This 3x1" hyper-engineered marvel has been rigorously tested, exhaustively reviewed, signed off by a slew of brass, lost in a logistics chokepoint, found again, shipped faster-than-thought to a facility that’s nearly spelled the same but on the wrong continent… So, this tape? This is what we pulled off the battery hatch for the coffee room’s boombox while we wait for the certified piece.
Well, I’ll be honest with you all. This here tape’s military applications are legion! Truly grasping the array of options here, often leaves lesser men whimpering in the face of that freedom. So, you gotta ask yourself: you gonna cry about it, or are you gonna bitchslap that problem solved and roar at whatever challenger’s in the wings? Grip that roll of answers. Dole out justice. We’ll make more.
Good to know that one of the high-tech speed bumps between us and atomic obliteration is an inconveniently positioned ½" steel tab with a warning that says “you really probably shouldn’t” 🤣
“one of” is doing some heavy lifting there :)
That button isn’t meant to stop crazy or evil people from killing us all. That’s (hopefully) taken care of by things like careful pilot vetting.
A completely sane and non-mass-murderous pilot might still accidentally press a normal button. Especially if they were tired near the end of a long mission.
It’s not as stringent as the safeguard that Roger Fisher proposed. He suggested that the nuclear launch codes be placed in a capsule and surgically implanted near the heart of a volunteer. That volunteer would follow the president around with a butcher knife. If the president ever wanted to launch the nukes it would need to be serious enough that he was willing to take that knife and carve the launch codes out of the chest of an innocent man.
I like the Homer approach. I want three different nuclear launch codes! One here, here, and here. You can never remember the nuclear launch code when you’re angry.
The current guy has killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people globally for his own ego, so one orange shitgibbon filleting an innocent person to end his amphetamine psychosis fueled tweet rampage at 3 am isn’t far fetched.
We should put a piece of tape on the switch too. That’ll really get the point across
But not just any tape! This 3x1" hyper-engineered marvel has been rigorously tested, exhaustively reviewed, signed off by a slew of brass, lost in a logistics chokepoint, found again, shipped faster-than-thought to a facility that’s nearly spelled the same but on the wrong continent… So, this tape? This is what we pulled off the battery hatch for the coffee room’s boombox while we wait for the certified piece.
Looks like we just found our new marketing executive for HEMtape boys! Tell us more about this tape’s military applications.
Well, I’ll be honest with you all. This here tape’s military applications are legion! Truly grasping the array of options here, often leaves lesser men whimpering in the face of that freedom. So, you gotta ask yourself: you gonna cry about it, or are you gonna bitchslap that problem solved and roar at whatever challenger’s in the wings? Grip that roll of answers. Dole out justice. We’ll make more.