First part: mansplaing and helping are often hard to tell apart. Especially if you get mansplained all the time. In this case I am sure you are in the right.
Second part: we didn’t choose to have a penis but we are part of the patriarchy problem. We were socialized with privileges and those let us behave in a way that keeps said patriarchy working. Feminism for me is about figuring out what helps to level the playing field and what doesn’t. I am wrong a lot.
Being an ally is sometimes confused with “I am not doing anything wrong” like not being sexist. That is not enough anymore. We need to speak up when somebody else uses behaves in a sexist way. We need to actively change things because we are the patriarchy and by being part of that are helping to keep the status quo just by existing as a male in the society and passively enjoying the privileges that come with that.
First part: mansplaing and helping are often hard to tell apart. Especially if you get mansplained all the time. In this case I am sure you are in the right.
One of the problems with “Hello, I’m from the internet and I have a story where I was definitely right and the other person was the asshole” is that you’re getting a very one-sided narrative without any historical context.
Just-So rants are a dime a dozen around here. “Why am I the victim, just because I’m a guy?” has - in my experience - been a big fucking red-flag.
The difference between mansplaining and helping is all about the level of condescension attached to your “help”. If you are genuinely trying to relay information that you feel may help someone…you’re good. If you’re talking down to someone that you feel would already have this information, if only they had been born with a penis…you’re being a misogynistic asshole.
First part: mansplaing and helping are often hard to tell apart. Especially if you get mansplained all the time. In this case I am sure you are in the right.
Second part: we didn’t choose to have a penis but we are part of the patriarchy problem. We were socialized with privileges and those let us behave in a way that keeps said patriarchy working. Feminism for me is about figuring out what helps to level the playing field and what doesn’t. I am wrong a lot.
Being an ally is sometimes confused with “I am not doing anything wrong” like not being sexist. That is not enough anymore. We need to speak up when somebody else uses behaves in a sexist way. We need to actively change things because we are the patriarchy and by being part of that are helping to keep the status quo just by existing as a male in the society and passively enjoying the privileges that come with that.
One of the problems with “Hello, I’m from the internet and I have a story where I was definitely right and the other person was the asshole” is that you’re getting a very one-sided narrative without any historical context.
Just-So rants are a dime a dozen around here. “Why am I the victim, just because I’m a guy?” has - in my experience - been a big fucking red-flag.
The difference between mansplaining and helping is all about the level of condescension attached to your “help”. If you are genuinely trying to relay information that you feel may help someone…you’re good. If you’re talking down to someone that you feel would already have this information, if only they had been born with a penis…you’re being a misogynistic asshole.