• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    If you didn’t know the rules, why would you start your comment making it clear you’re a man?

    • The_Terrible_Humbaba@slrpnk.netBanned from community
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      2 days ago

      Precisely because, unlike what you seem to think of me, I actually do care about women and am sensitive to their experiences. I did not want to give potentially bad or dangerous advice to women, so I made it clear multiple times I am not one. I made it clear the advice may not apply. I even thought for a while before making that comment, whether a men’s experience might or not be relevant in this case. But I erred on the side of caution and made it anyway, but with a disclaimer.

      That might also be why, potentially, there are comments about the rules made after mine but which I did not read; that along with the fact it took me a while to write and to think of how to explain it.

      If I didn’t care, I could have given all the same advice with no disclaimer or mention of the fact I’m a man.

      I don’t have all day to sit here and keep this up, so I’ll leave it at that and make the final point that you don’t have to default to rudeness on the internet, which is what most unfortunately do, and one of the reasons I could not stand Reddit anymore when I left. It’s possible to politely tell someone that they did something wrong.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        For the record, starting any advice “as a man” when talking to a woman is going to ruffle feathers. It’s presumptuous and rude. As if you being a man gives you more authority to advise women. Especially in a women’s only community - even if we didn’t have the rule “women only”, that advice would be taken poorly here.

        You only pretend to respect women. Your actions here have laid bare your true feelings about boundaries that women put up.

        I didn’t start out rude to you:

        There were over 60 comments when you first replied 2 hours ago. Please don’t lie.

        You know the rules here now. You know you’re breaking them now.

        • The_Terrible_Humbaba@slrpnk.netBanned from community
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          2 days ago

          I don’t want to continue, but if you speak factual bs you kind of force my hand:

          1. That was not your first comment to me, my inbox shows it as 4th.

          2. Calling someone a liar is objectively rude. As is sending like 4 separate replies to the same comment, all in a condescending tone, and one of them being just a “Uhhh”, which btw was one of the comments which came before that one.

          3. You continue with the boundaries BS. It’s a public forum, and you can block people. You can stop engaging, or you can block.

          4. Saying “as a man” is rude depending on context; if you strip it of context (a warning that my perspective might not be relevant) and decide to take offence, that is on you.

          Edit: even when I tried to feed slate and be bice and extend an olive branch you still decide to be rude. You should look at your behaviour more critically

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            My other initial comments weren’t rude either. You have a fragile ego.

            It’s always surprised me how many people in the Fediverse will leave comments on a post without reading any of the other comments.

            There’s like…multiple conversations that have happened here that made it clear that we don’t want to hear men’s voices in here.

            If I think I might help a woman to suffer less, should I abstain from doing it because men are not welcome?

            Yes.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            I don’t want to continue, but if you speak factual bs you kind of force my hand

            Continuing to not take responsibility for your own actions. You are in control of your actions. I’m not forcing you to do shit.

            You have to have the last word over women, don’t you?

            • The_Terrible_Humbaba@slrpnk.netBanned from community
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              2 days ago

              No, but I would be rude to not reply to a direct question. And I’m won’t let clear factual BS go by unchecked. Notice you didn’t reply to anything I said, because you know it’s true.

              But go on, insult me again and say more BS. I’ll let you have the last word. If it’s not clear to you now it won’t be later, and anyone making this far should have a clear view already.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                2 days ago

                Notice you didn’t reply to anything I said, because you know it’s true.

                Why would I address it when it’s a waste of time? You don’t listen.

                You’ve got a weak ego and rapist tendencies with how much you push back against women. Deal with it.