I would say Computer Scientist in place of software engineer.

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“My wife of 16 years…”

That’s her age, I’m going to jail. - Bob Saget

ISO-8601 gang

I “the croods” the guys mother in law keeps saying ‘still alive’ every morning. He wishes she wasn’t.

Also, this is shittyasklemmy.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?”

No, it makes you look stupid.

Balloonjo

Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables.

I see this as the same problem where comments are not updated when code is and no longer match. I think he’s still talking about a single file here.

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Sounds like three reasons to me,

I know a girl who thinks it goes. she’ll make you breakfast. she’ll make you toast. but she don’t use butter, and she don’t use cheese. she don’t use jelly or any of these

she uses vaseline

Hot sexy policewomen.

I used to think that J walking was crossing the street and coming half way back.

That’s the Save button.