• tetris11@feddit.uk
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      8 months ago

      By “eat around it” I mostly meant she let me cook what I wanted when it was my turn, and if I had time I’d make a second serving with meat substituted for something else (mushroom, artichoke, etc.). If I didn’t have time, I’d keep the base and the layering separate and offer her the base to flavour however she wanted.

      When we visited my parents, she’d just pick out the meat chunks and actually eat around it no problem

      • Fmstrat@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        I gotta say, she may have just been nice about it.

        Had that relationship gone on a long time, this probably would have been an issue. She cooked delicious things for you, where you could relax and enjoy, but then she has to do additional work to be able to eat when you cook. Seems like you got the better end of that deal, and weren’t accounting for her needs.

        While we both eat meat, my partner doesn’t prefer it, so we’ve switched to mostly vegetation, including my cooking. Sometimes i make meat dishes, but it’s mostly reserved for when we go out. I’ve learned to adapt because the last thing she needs is more work to do when it’s not her turn. This is how almost every veg-meat relationship that has lasted that I know of went.

        Not saying this to be pointed, perhaps your situation really was unique, but I’d take some time for self reflection on what her perspective might have actually been.

        • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          Why are there so many people in this thread telling this guy what his vegan gf actually thought

          Stop projecting. You don’t always need to be right. It’s ok for other people to have different experiences from you.

          • Fmstrat@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            Because so many people live through it bothering them, and are nice about it, just like in the comment. Spreading awareness of that is why.

      • Dave@lemmy.nz
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        8 months ago

        NGL, if I was vegan and went to visit my inlaws and they made me pick out the meat chunks, that’s pretty shit hospitality.

        • kreekybonez@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          it’s also important to be a good guest. a host isn’t a servant. they didn’t make anyone do anything; they offered food and shared their home, and that’s pretty cool.

          also, doesn’t sound like in-laws. “dated” implies casuality, and also past tense.

          • blackris@discuss.tchncs.de
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            8 months ago

            No, fuck that. A host isn’t a servant, fine. But if they knew the person and still made only food, they had to pick shit out, they are just bad hosts.

            • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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              8 months ago

              I’m wondering if they even told them they were vegan. Its not hard to cook meat separately and let people mix it back into the veggies and whatever else.

        • tetris11@feddit.uk
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          8 months ago

          Her parents cook twice when we visited them, but the extra work was shared between both her parents so it was fine.

          My mother’s the only one that cooks. Her cuisine is very traditional. My ex understood this

          • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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            8 months ago

            Perhaps when a new person joins their life they could consider learning new things to go with the old. Thats just a hope at least.