Hey everyone! Ive been missing yall for a while, and without going into too much i havent had great access to my wardrobe or the ability to wear it.
Anyways, in other news, due to a supremely nightmarish interaction with police, i am now out to the entire state of oregon! All the worst people i was most afraid of knowing now know! Yayyy 🙃
Plus some deeply personal and intrusive questions, like:
spoiler
What genital were you born with? Have you had any surgeries? Any plans to have surgery? Mtf or ftm? Safe around other men or no? How long hrt? When start, what take, how much dose? And other extremely intimate questions like these
It was a mortifying, nightmare fuel experience. I survived though, with some more traumas but oh well, therapists are eatin good lol.
Just venting honestly, to others who would understand. ❤️❤️
Hows everyones week so far?!
Also, fuck the police, dont ever talk to cops 🏳️🌈
You must log in or # to comment.
omg russia 2.0, flashbacks of medical staff does like that, which wanted me put in fcking country psychiatry database
imagine aka progressive paid psychodoctor which
spoiler
a 36 yo man asking a 15yo girl about “how u imagine yourself while masturbating”
hopefully is one of the soft one
Anyways, in other news, due to a supremely nightmarish interaction with police, i am now out to the entire state of oregon!
So sorry to hear this part, sister! But I also have to ask: how safe or unsafe is Oregon for trans women in general? I live in CA, but I am fascinated with OR, both its beauty and certain specialties that are available only there. Maps by Erin In The Morning show OR as being among the safest states, just like CA - but from your (apparently) horrible experience, I now have to wonder if maybe that assessment is inaccurate?
I am a professional telecom engineer, and I am a co-founder of a non-profit organization that seeks to build a new non-profit cellular phone network based on retro 2G technology - see the Retro Mobile Phones community I recently started in the Fediverse. Oregon is at the top of the list of locations we are after, because it has significant spectrum vacancies (portions of GSM-compatible radio spectrum that aren’t already claimed and taken by some big company) and it appears to be a safe and friendly state, as opposed to Ohio, Oklahoma, Texas etc - other states in which similar spectrum vacancies exist. But in light of your posted experience I am now worried - hence I would like some further clarification.
My partner and I did travel to Oregon last November for exploration: we arrived in Eugene by Amtrak train (I avoid flying as much as possible), then rented a car and drove out east to explore some of those spectrum vacancy areas. We didn’t have any negative interactions, and we absolutely loved McKenzie river - but perhaps we were just lucky?
Oregon IS very friendly, probly one of if not the friendliest states in the country. Cops suck everywhere all the time always. Theyre high school bullies on power trips, i wouldnt expect any different anywhere.
This isnt the whole story of what happened to me, or even most of it. I may or may not make a post about it when its time, but for right now its still ongoing in a way
Cops suck everywhere all the time always.
Of course, this part is a given, it’s in the very nature of their institution - but the exact level of danger faced by a trans woman in such encounters will probably be quite different from one jurisdiction to another.
Decades ago post-op trans women were 100% safe: in 1980s, 1990s etc if you had female genitalia between your legs, no one would ever stuff you into a men’s jail or prison. It didn’t matter if those female parts were there from birth or if they were constructed in surgery - female parts between legs meant women’s jail or prison. You were likewise guaranteed female ID documents if you were post-op. But today’s evildoers have scooped to lows that never previously existed in all of human history, treating post-op trans women as male and stuffing 100% anatomical females into men’s institutions.
I am a post-op trans woman. I got my SRS primarily in the hope that it would make me safe - but now it is still not enough. Hence I am asking how it is in Oregon: are they Trump-level evil too, to the point that they would stuff an anatomically female person with men because her female parts weren’t there from birth? Some of the wording in your original post kind of points in this direction - when you say they asked you “What genital were you born with?”, questions about surgeries and “Safe around other men or no?”, it sounds like you got woman parts, but the evil pigs were still looking to stuff you with men because those parts weren’t birth-made - unless I totally misunderstood your meaning and intent in those passages, in which case I apologize in advance. But being a post-op woman myself, now I am understandably worried if I would be in danger of treated like a man or stuffed with men in Oregon if some unfortunate encounter with state-sponsored terrorists goes the wrong way.
Youre totally fine, i love peoples interest in my state, no worries!
I am pre op, dunno even if i will go that far yet. I dont want to say too much about it but yes they were asking those questions to figure out where to put me. Lemme clarify that i didnt do anything deserving of this, i just dont talk to police. So it was one persons story against nothing cause i stayed silent, which is what i was always taught to do. In oregon, prisons and jails are segregated by AGAB, and theres not much to be done about that. The regulations for that come from the federal, so blame trump.
So they were asking me those questions to figure out if i can be around men or if i needed to be in solitary, excuse me, “protective custody”.
Afaik you can get gender marker changes and all the other things we want here in oregon. I got hrt the day i had my appointment, no waiting or hoops to jump through. We have a very active and vibrant rainbow community, especially closer to portland. Its beautiful here, and most people are pretty chill with everything
That said oregon still has its own problems. We still have pretty bad schools, the homeless crises is not getting better. Lots of theft because pigs dont carr about it. Etc etc.
No place is perfect. But fo being trans, for me, its the safest place in the country. Not 100% safe, nowhere is, but i do feel it could be much much worse. Just dont interact with police i guess lol
In oregon, prisons and jails are segregated by AGAB,
AGAB or genital anatomy? Has there ever been a test case to distinguish between the two? I.e., a case involving very specifically a post-op person who underwent an old-fashioned, 1970s-style 100% sex change?
AGAB, afaik. Idk if i had the other bits if it wouldve been different. But the way they talked about it sounded like mens or solutary no matter what i had
Wait what the fuck? Did you get outed by cops? Seriously what the fuck.
Girl I fucking hate whatever those pigs made you go through. If you wanna talk / vent about what happened to you send me a DM.
[edit: I’ve seen some more of your replies in here now so you don’t have to answer my question. I’m so fucking angry. Sending all my love]
Yeah i basically got outed by cops, and im just as angy as you.
Although it has made it much easier to just say fuck it, the state knows so everyone else can i guess. Doesnt make it ok obvi, i didnt want this to happen atleast until HRT physical changes. But they ripped that bandaid off now, so oh well.
Its just more fucked up because i didnt do anything wrong. But my refusal to talk to them and their feelings on trans people made them treat me like absolute garbage.
I will say one more thing, because i need to say it, and it seems the cats mostly out the bag already. Its bothering me but my brain also says its nothing and noone cares. But i know people care, i know people here ESPECIALLY will care. I hope talking about all this doesnt bite me in the ass later.
For context, i was arrested, if thats not obvious by now. My first time ever being arrested.
When they put me in solitary, i didnt know at the beginning but i found out later. That the room i was in had two signs on the door. One of them said “classification housing only” the other one ima put a spoiler on so it doesnt upset people, read at your own risk:
spoiler
The other sign had “TG” in big bold black letters on the door, for transgender. I was a zoo exhibit seem like
So yeah, its not been fun
This is heartbreaking. There aren’t words for me to adequately express how much this hurts to hear and how much I want to scream on your behalf.
I’ve been out doing community defence all weekend. Getting arrested is something that I fully expect to happen to me at some point. Today was the first time i was at an action where I was visibly trans. I guess I feel a lot of kinship with you because I think we lead fairly similar lives (at least in this context). What happened to you is one of my worst fears.
There aren’t words. You’re a ray of light. ACA fucking B.
It helps that mama didnt raise a bitch (well i mean i guess she did in a way) not that i even talk to her anymore.
To be honest i dont like to trauma brag because im not about invalidating other people. But, lifes been really rough, nothing has ever come easy to me. Including finding myself. I mean even feeding myself when i was a kid was a struggle. Ive been through so much awful terrible no good shit.
I feel like theres two paths when you are raised like that. Either you become an extremely shitty person, not giving a fuck about anyone else. Or you become the opposite, the most caring person because you dont want to see people go through what you did. I chose the latter.
But yeah, i was GSA in high school. Always went to protests when i could (more when i didnt have kids). And just generally made it my lifes goal to leave this world better than i found it. I just want everyone to be happy, but that seems impossible nowadays.
Now, that being said, it does have disadvantages. Like going to jail for nothing because you wont talk to police or rat out people ever. People walk all over and step on you because its easy. Sometimes i feel lile a usefull tool thats thrown out once i stop being useful. Ive been heartbroken that way before. Its something im working on in therapy, standing up for myself more, while keeping my compassion for others. Its why people have been insisting i should do a civil suit. While i think nothing will happen, thats the part of me that wont stand up for myself. Maybe something will if i have compassion for myself for once.
Im at the beach and its really been helping detox me abd keep me from spiraling. Because even saying all this, this experience was still one of the worst ive been through
Edit: last thought, but i do like to look at the silver lining of these things. Like, being outed in that environment was such a nightmare, that being out in public isnt a big deal suddenly!
Thank you for surviving and fighting to keep your light safe and strong. I’m so fuckin proud of you. 🫶
Aww tanks! ❤️❤️
Im proud of all of us, it takes so much courage to even consider transition in todays world. Its a scary place, i dont think im any braver than the rest of the beautiful girls here ❤️
You’re braver than you think, bb. 🫂
I dont like tooting my own horn. Everyone has their struggles and mine arent any worse than someone elses. Comparing traumas kills compassion honestly. Im sure everyone here has been through something i cant even imagine wrapping my head around.
I was raised in poverty and hate. Hate against POC, hate against LGBT, hate against everything that isnt straight and white. “If it aint white it aint right” is something ive heard more times than i could count in a lifetime. Just evil shit. Thats why alot of my stuff has happened the way it has
But im not special or unique. I hate that we all collectively experience traumas like this. Not even just our little community here, but everyone. I strongly feel that if the world wasnt so cruel and unfair to people at certain times, there would be a lot less hate. sigh a girl can dream tho ❤️❤️
Mama didn’t raise no bitch, she raised that bitch. Thanks for talking and sharing. I’m glad to hear you’re on a beach and in a safe place. I’m sorry if i reacted all emotional, your story was very close to home. Please be kind to yourself for a while.
Youre good, i feel like im the most emotional person in the world right now with how much i just randomly start crying now. Since hrt, its been a flood of emotions. But its a good thing, i was so disconnected from it before.
Im trying to be kind to myself! Im getting a tattoo today, maybe ill post a pic if its presentable in any way today lol
Ah just got these questions today at work about what I plan to do for my transition. If I love men now… If I plan surgery. 😮💨
At least they will try to use my new name and gender me accordingly.
Fuck people who ask those questions. I just wanna be treated like any other human being. Im sure they dont ask cis people what parts they were born with
Fuuuuuuuck. I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve that, and all cop cars must burn with the police inside.
Make bacon!
yikes I’m sorry that happened to you. those questions are so horrible when you aren’t ready to answer them
Yeah, and like how am i to say i dont want to answer to them? They have the power to make my life miserable, i was afraid of that if i didnt answer their stupid questions. Didnt matter anyway, they made such a bid deal then misgendered me constantly throughout 🙃
My week has been filled with disgust at the hypocrisy in my office’s participation in the parade this weekend, because they only do it for publicity. A few weeks ago, I told one of the higher ups that certain individuals in a certain department talk with an offensive, hostile, transphobic jargon. Did they do something about it? Nope.
Anyway, I’m glad you survived. Police are pigs. (Sorry pigs 🐷🩵. You are not pigs.) You are a hero.
Pork pigs are cute and amazing creatures, state sponsered pigs are fascists in a neat uniform
Hear hear 😍
You survived. Fuck yea.
Honestly, it feels better maybe?? Like it was such a horrible experience and such pure distilled nightmare fuel that nothing in the real world could be that bad, right? Or atleast thats kinda where my brain is at now. Im wearing short shorts at the river and just dont give a fuck i guess.
I mean, seriously fuck those pigs for putting me through all that, im looking into a civil suit honestly. But after it all, this is what i wanted anyway. Just happened so much faster than i hoped. Like someone waxing you on the count of 3 but they rip it on 1 lol
Letting your brain chill for a while is wisdom. It can be unbelievably worse. Better to not perseverate on unknowns and what ifs.
I am so, so sorry you had to deal with that nightmare. Those questions were incredibly invasive and out of line. Sending you the biggest hug if you want one, or just a ton of good vibes. Stay strong! 🫰
I love hugs! 🥰
It was humiliating, in a place full of people, asking these Q’s out loud in front of everyone. The obvious next step my friends say is a civil suit but idk. Seems like it would drag out the worst day ive had and end up not doing anything anyway
Id like an apology (fat chance) and maybe they can change policy. Huge doubts thatll happen tho
